Jones 2

Chapter 19

Wouldn't leave~ Kanye West

MARCH 13, 2016

PAULINAS POV//

I guess this is it. Our run has made it to the finish line. I'm not really feeling Angie anymore. I'm also assuming you can say I'm bored? I don't know. She just changed. A lot. She's like a maniac and everything has to go her way or else it's the wrong way. There has to be something mentally wrong with her. I don't want to sound like a bitch but if you knew her as I do, you'd understand. I'm just tired of being her puppet.

I text Angie and let her know that I have to talk to her and ask if I can come over. All she responds with is 'please.'  

When I knock on her front door, her mom answers. that's strange because its Saturday and shes actually home. 

"Hi, Ms. Morgan. Where's Angie?" I ask greeting her while scoping out the house for Angie. 

"Hi sweetie, she's upstairs," she says and lets me in. 

I inch up the stairs basically afraid to talk to my soon to be ex-girlfriend. 

I push open Angie's bedroom door and she's nowhere to be found. the light is on in her closet which means she has to be in there. I enter her closet and find her throwing all of her neatly folded clothes on the floor. 

"What're you doing?" I ask in a quiet tone so I don't startle her.

"This place is a mess," She says in an almost dead voice. 

'Angie, your clothes were already folded and put away. What are you doing?" I ask again hoping to get through to her. 

"Paulina it's a mess. I have to clean. I have to clean," She repeats. 

Watching Angie frantically tear apart her closet scares me more and convinces me even more that something is going on with her. 

"Ok come on, get out of there," I say and reach over to help her over the pile of shit on the floor. I step over the pile to get closer to her but when I grab her arm she tugs it away.

"You don't understand I have to clean up. It's a fucking mess," She says and when she looks at me her eyelids look dark and her eyes look wet. Her bags look like they're getting worse and it looks as if she hasn't slept for days. 

"Angie. Please talk to me. What is going on with you?" I ask with full concern. 

"Nothing is going on with me," she says with a freakish smile and watery eyes. 

"I. Just. have. To. Clean," she says while pulling more of her clothes off the shelf. 

A box falls off the shelf and at least a thousand pictures fall out. 

"God fucking dammit," She yells and starts balling. She throws herself on the floor and cries into her hands.

I step through the pile on her closet floor and kneel in front of her. I put my arms around her and pull her down. She lays on my chest and cries. 

"God please help me," I say aloud. 

"Alright. Come on. It's alright. It's alright. We can put all of this stuff back ok? I'm here. I'm here," I say and rub her head. I rock back and forth until she catches her breath. She finally relaxes and sniffles. 

"Are we ready now?" I ask hoping her crying fit has come to a conclusion. 

"I want you to listen to me Ang," I say still holding her but not looking at her.

"I can't be kept putting in these situations. you won't talk to me and I don't know how to read your mind anymore. I want to help you but I don't know how. You are out of control and I'm not going to sugar coat it. I can't read you anymore," I say with tears building up in my eyes. 

"Paulina please," She begins to sob while getting up.

"I have to," I choke.

"Paulina please," She whispers.

"I need you to get help ok? For me," I say and hold her face in my hands. 

She nods with painful tears slipping down her face. She rests her hands on my wrists and seemingly she looks like she's trying to soak up the last bit of love I have for her. 

"I'll always love you. I want you to remember that. But I can't right now," I say still crying. her face droops when the words leave my mouth and her grip begins to loosen around my wrists. 

"Let's renew ourselves first, alright? And then maybe we'll find each other again," I say hoping to make her feel better. 

"Ok," Is all she says. I get up off the floor and walk out of the closet. I take one last look at her room and relive the memories that we built here. 

"Please don't call or text me. It'll be easier if we don't talk," I say and she just looks at me.

"ok," I say and walk out of her room. 

"Thank you, Ms. Morgan. for everything," I say to her mom before I leave the house.

"uh huh, sweetie. See you soon," She says totally unaware that I probably won't see Angie again. 

I walk down the street back to my house and allow myself this time to grieve. I feel like half of me is gone. But this had to be done. Angie was mentally toxic and draining. Although I was in love with her and I probably won't ever love someone like this, she was only in love with herself. She probably has the opposite to say but who wouldn't? I was the boyfriend int he relationship and the sad part is I allowed myself to be. We were in puppy love for a long time but once it got real, everything started to crumble and it was like watching the beautiful sandcastle you made get washed away by dirty salty sea water. this has to be one of the worst feelings in the world. But let's look at it from the bright side. 

She has Daniel. 

This chapter was particularly painful to write because it was like tearing at a healed wound with safety scissors. But hey my friends that just how life goes. tons of apologies for the long wait but college season waits for no one!

 CSU SAN FRANCISCO!!!