She Was Like Magic ✓

Chapter 26: Shaking

Sierra

I woke up in my bedroom as the heat of the sun had me perspiring a little. I could feel the light film of sweat on my skin as I pried open my eyes. I blinked a few times and I finally came to as my blurry vision came into focus. 

The sheer light from the sun was coming in through the window and dancing on the carpet of my room giving it a yellow glow. 

I sat up and leaned on my elbows and smiled at nothing in particular as my memory fleeted back to last night. 

I shook my head. I couldn't believe I had a boyfriend that thought so much about making our time together special. Normal dates were at the movies, going out for dinner, bowling and here he had organised something that was so special and intimate. 

My thoughts were broke with the ringing of my phone. 

A huge grin appeared on my face as I searched my sheets for my phone as my heart was beating wildly knowing it was Ari. 

Where the fuck was it?! I didn't want to miss his call! 

I finally found my phone under the far corner of my pillow and I looked at the lit up screen. My grin immediately dissipated. 

I gulped as my finger slid across the answer with no emotion. 

"Hello" I asked coldly. 

"Hi Sierra! How are you?" I heard the cheery voice say in its theatrical way. 

"I'm fine, how are you?" I felt myself close up emotionally as I grit my teeth. 

"Good, well apart from the fact that I have to chase you up to just have you say a hi, hello to me" I heard laughter but it was so hollow. I closed my eyes. There was silence because I wasn't going to retaliate to that purposeful dig. 

"Anyway, what have you been up to? How is college treating you?" 

"It's fine. I've just been studying and that and going to classes" I mumbled. I picked at my sheets. 

"So you actually are going to classes?" I heard laughter again and I clenched my fists. Why was it so hard to believe that I actually liked attending my classes?! I was not just a party animal that didn't give a flying fuck about her education. I wasn't just a two-dimensional stereotype that was going to eventually turn into that with your repetition to fit into the schema you had of me. Work hard, play hard. That was my motto. 

"Yes, mother. I actually go to classes because I love what I do and value the education that will shape my future" Fuck, I wanted to scream at her but we had learnt that was going to end worse if we let it get to that. 

"How will a degree in literature and psychology help you curb your future?" I could hear the judgement dripping off her voice. 

"Well maybe your business-minded brain cannot understand the value of literature and how I can become a published author or even a counsellor because that's more emotion or human based" That was the nicest way I could put it without exploding at her on the phone. 

"Is that any way to talk to your mother? Especially when I had to chase you up to just hear your voice? To even suggest that I can't understand emotion!" I could hear her huff and puff. 

"Then why did you phone me up to hear my voice when you just wanted to berate me for my choice of degree still when I'm close to graduating soon?" I could hear my own voice quaking with the simmering anger. If she kept this up it wasn't going to end well on my side. 

"To see if my daughter was still wasting her life partying and being hungover! I wanted to know if you had just learned about your responsibility and not wasting your father and I's hard earned money on ridiculously expensive drinking and dresses!" she had raised her voice that there was the mother I knew, appearing in her truest form. 

"Oh because that would be so much worse than all the holidays my father and you spend on holidays for yourselves in between your business deals and all your has-to-be designer business attire and of course father's collection of cars. Funny how you don't count all  that when you are reminding me of my splurging" Fuck, if she wanted to shove everything in my face I couldn't sit here and not do her the same favour. 

"SIERRA MARIE CRUZ!" she screamed. 

"Don't you fucking dare take my full name when you can't even be bothered to come visit me. All you and dad care about is where your next paycheck comes from and keeping up your lavish fucking lifestyle and expensive habits! So don't even try and question what I do with my allowances to make up for your ignorance!" I was seething, my breaths coming in short, fast bursts as I finished what I said.

"DON'T YOU-" 

"NO! DON'T YOU TRY AND MAKE UP ANYTHING THAT WILL EXCUSE YOU OR TRY AND IGNORE THAT THAT IS WHAT'S HAPPENED! I FUCKING STUDY AND GET SUCH GOOD MARKS THINKING YOU WILL BE PROUD OF ME! BUT YOU NEVER WILL BECAUSE NOTHING WILL EVER BE ENOUGH! SO GO! GO AND FUCKING ENJOY YOUR LIFE LIKE YOU HAD NO DAUGHTER IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE!" I shut my phone and threw it on my bed. I ran my hand over my face and held it up in front of me. Sure enough it was shaking. 

No, no, not again. I refuse to go through that again. The trembling in my hands wouldn't stop.