She Was Like Magic ✓

Chapter 30: Ready

Sierra

I woke up in my bedroom, the sun slanting in against the blinds and spilling onto the floor. It reminded me the last time I woke up like this and that horrid phone call had came through.

And yet this time, I could feel warmth around my abdomen as his strong forearms were wrapped around me and hot air every few seconds hitting my hair and the back of my neck as his shallow breaths permeated onto my skin.

An unconscious smile appeared on my face as I snuggled deeper into his arms, pushing my back just that bit more into his chest.

It was just that. His warmth in his heart and soul that had saved me from myself. Not completely because that was too much to burden him with and because this was my shit that I needed to work on and sort through. But having him right with me made all the difference in the world.

Because last time I had spiralled, it had led me to a dark path of being drunk almost all of the time through the last year of my high school. It had me almost not making it into college until I channelled my anger into wanting to prove my parents wrong, that I could make something of myself. But that had been such a hard path to take, a lot of stumbling, a lot of nights of hitting the drinks again because that was easier than facing the pain, the hollowness that had been created in me. It was so much of falling and getting up again and again no matter how many times I had scraped my knees trying to make it or even passed out.

And if it wasn't for this man caring so much, reminding me of that part of me that had began to value me, that had thought I was worthy of something, of a future I had envisaged. I probably would have taken so much longer to get to this road of recovery again.

The pain, I knew would never go away completely. But for once I was okay with that. Because there was someone that loved me because of my broken parts. And somehow my broken parts fitted into his perfectly. Even in our imperfections we created something that was to us perfect and beautiful.

And he was showing me that it was okay to love myself, there were not parts that were worth completely disregarding or ignoring or getting angry or even abandoning just because someone else had done the same.

Maybe our pasts didn't have to define us. Yes, they shape us and definitely play heavily on why we do what we do but maybe there was a choice in letting them entrap us or letting them teach us something and then setting them free from us. I didn't know how to do that or how I would even begin to do that and that was sometimes daunting but I knew it was just the way things were.

Everything couldn't be easy could it? Otherwise what would be worth fighting for?

I turned in his arms and I stared at him and smiled.

"You can stop staring now" his voice was deeper and so rough because he had just woken up. But I thought he was asleep!

He opened his eyes and smiled "You can close your mouth now" he pushed my chin up, closing my mouth that had been open agape.

He pushed my shoulder back until my back was on the mattress and he was hovering over me, his green eyes and staring into my brown eyes.

"What is it Miss Cruz?" he asked as he smiled coyly at me. His bright blue eyes alight with mischief.

I pushed on his shoulder and rolled us over so I was now hovering over him, holding his hands above our heads, my hair cascading down my front and tickling his bare chest "You have such a beautiful soul Mr Williams"

He rolled us over again "Oh really? Says the girl who tears through people's darkness to give them some light"

I rolled us back, pinning his hands above us again and leaned down further, bringing us nose to nose "Says the only one who has ever reached out to me and grabbed my hand to pull me close to him" I whispered, close enough that our breaths were mingling and yet not close enough in a way that I could see he wanted me to in his eyes and not close enough for me either. I had to work so hard to resist but I couldn't give in yet.