Girl Groups Imagines

BP Lisa - Before I Go

Lisa stood at the edge of the rooftop, her elbows leaned on the small wall sparing her from a deathly fall, watching the few stars visible through the many lights of the city.

A shaky breath left her lips at the same time a gush of cold air hit her skin, making her regret not picking up her jacket before leaving her room. She wasn't even supposed to be here. If only her friends knew, they'd be so worried.

No matter how high Lisa went, the sounds of the city were still clear in her ears. Cars stuck in traffic honking nonstop, loud voices of people arguing from near buildings. An ambulance siren went off, bringing back memories she revisited too much already and Lisa gasped, feeling a panic attack starting. Soon, it felt like her throat closed up, making it almost impossible for her to breath, but she was used to it by now, enough to not spiral into panic and wait it out.

Taking a couple of steps backwards, Lisa closed her eyes and forced her body to inhale, then exhale. The air burned as it reached her lungs, but slowly, repeating the process, she got back to normal. Her eyes had gotten blurry because of the lack of oxygen and a tear fell from her eye, rolling down her cheek and falling to the ground.

Suddenly, a hand was placed on her shoulder and made her jump back in fear, a small yelp leaving her dry chapped lips. She was so focused on gaining her breath back, she missed the sound of the roof door opening and closing.

Y/N stood behind her as she held her hands against her chest, an apologetic smile on his face as he offered her a small blanket he took from her room. "Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

Happiness wasn't really what she felt at seeing his face after many months, but she wasn't angry either. Maybe relieved.

With hesitant hands, Lisa grabbed the blanket, wrapping herself in it and sighing immediately at the warmth now engulfing her. Wordlessly, she turned back to the wall, leaning on it again and Y/N took this as an invitation. He stood beside her, leaving a significant amount of space between them.

"How are you?"

Lisa chuckled bitterly, lightly shaking her head. "So now you care?"

Y/N sighed heavily, feeling guilt and sadness creep up his mind at Lisa's harsh tone but quickly shook it off. He came here to make things right, not to feel sorry for himself.

"I've always cared. I do care."

"Well, then you're really bad at showing it."

Lisa kept her eyes on the buildings in front of her, knowing the strong facade would break if she looked the man in the eyes.

"Lisa." Y/N called her name, receiving only a barely audible hum in response. He tried again, this time gently grabbing her arm and turning her towards him. Lisa looked worn down, dark circles under her tired eyes. The same eyes that once sparkled on their own, full of joy and life were now dull and empty. But still, she didn't look any less beautiful in his eyes.

Y/N gulped loudly, not used to seeing her like this, and moved his hand down her arm to her cold hand. Lisa kept her gaze focused on her feet.

"I'm sorry I left. I couldn't bear to see you like that, hurting and scared, and I did the dumbest thing I could leaving you without notice. I hurt you, over and over, only adding to your burden when I should've been there for you, helping you and I'm so sorry." Before Y/N could continue, Lisa raised a hand bringing a premature end to his monologue.

Lisa smiled sadly, grasping tightly onto his hand. Tears built up in her eyes, so she took her time before speaking to prevent them from falling. "Sorry isn't going to do anything, Y/N. It won't give us all those months back, it won't fix anything. It won't give us another chance."

Y/N nodded sadly, looking out to the city as he slowly pulled on Lisa's hand, bringing her close to him into a loose embrace. She laid her head on his chest, grasping at the fabric of his shirt and inhaling the scent she had been longing for. For the first time in months, Lisa felt like no matter what happened, she was going to be okay.

Sniffing loudly, as the first tears started falling from her eyes, Lisa looked up to Y/N. He cradled her face in his hands, running his thumbs across her cheeks to dry her tears. "We better enjoy this moment together. I won't be here much longer."

At those words, Y/N broke down, sobbing loudly as he pulled Lisa against his body, holding her fragile form tightly. His shoulder shook violently, tears streaming down his face and forming a wet patch on Lisa's sweater where he had laid his head. Y/N couldn't control his emotions, just now realizing what he had lost and what he was about to lose. Lisa simply ran her hands down his back, she had no more tears to shed. She had accepted her faith. And there were no words to make this better.

After what felt like hours of Y/N apologizing over and over, his cries died down leaving them in comfortable silence to hold each other and look at the stars together.

"It should be me comforting you, instead it's the opposite." Y/N chuckled through the sadness, shaking his head at the irony of the situation.

Lisa giggled, shrugging lightly while running her thumbs over Y/N cheeks. "I don't really need comforting anymore. It's a bit too late for that."

"I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing. Sorry won't save me now."

As if Y/N's heart wasn't already broken, those words brought an additional pain to his chest. Lisa had given up and his hope was quickly burning up, becoming nothing but useless ash.

The door behind them opened, revealing a disheveled looking nurse who heaved a sigh of relief when her eyes landed on Lisa. "Miss Manoban, we've been looking for you everywhere! Thank God you're fine. You're not in condition to be out of bed."

Y/N reluctantly let go of her and let the nurse guide Lisa to the door, keeping an arm around her as if scared she might fall and break. When they reached the entrance, Lisa turned to look at Y/N one last time, with a bright smile on her lips, the one she always used to have before the sickness came, but it felt different. This one felt like goodbye.

Lisa mouthed 'I love you' then disappeared behind the hospital door and from his life.

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hello here's another attempt at writing sad stuff