Tayo Na Lang

Chapter 7

"Ayel, pwede ba tayong mag-usap?"

Nakauwi na kami from UPTC at kasalukuyan kami ngayong nandito sa hallway papunta sa kani-kaniya naming kwarto. Nilingon ko si Caloy pero bago ko pa man siya masagot ay nagpaalam na si Jess na papasok na siya sa kwarto nila, leaving me with Caloy. Oh great! Walang takas?

"Caloy, pwede bukas na lang? Medyo napagod kase ako" i reasoned out to escape her but somehow it's half truth dahil totoong pagod na ako.

Pagod na ako sayo Caloy. Hindi ko na alam kung hanggang kailan ko kakayanin na harapin ka.

She gave me a sad smile, "kahit saglit lang, ayel. please?" her eyes were begging to me to say yes, sinubukan nitong abutin ang kamay ko pero agad ko yung iniwas.

"See me in the rooftop later, i'll just take a short nap. Ikaw din,  pahinga ka muna" walang ganang saad ko, hindi ko na hinintay ang sagot niya at tumalikod na para magtungo sa kwarto ko.

Every step i take away from her pakiramdam ko ay mas bumibigat ang kung ano sa dibdib ko. I tried hard to not look back at her and as soon as i reached the door knob of our room, hindi na nagpaawat ang luhang kanina ko pa pinipigilang ilabas. I tried hard to keep my mouth from sobbing for i am afraid she'll hear me and start to question my whole being just like before.

"Yel?" Caloy called out my name na dahilan para magmadali akong pumasok sa kwarto ko at isara ang pinto.

Ini-lock ko ang pinto sa takot na sundan ako ni Caloy at makita sa ganitong sitwasyon at hindi nga ako nagkamali dahil pinilit niyang buksan ang pinto. I even heard her cursing maybe out of frustration but i never let her in.

Minutes had passed. And the only noise i could hear in this room is my own breathing and sobbing. Umiiyak ako. Putangina, umiiyak ako pero bakit?

Kase nakita mo kung gaano siya kasaya kapag kasama si Celine, nakita mo kung paano siya titingin kay Celine saka babawiin at iiling habang nakangiti, kase nakita mo na mahal nga niya talaga si Celine.

I lay flat in my bed and stared at the blank ceiling. Patuloy sa pagtulo ang luha mula sa mga mata ko. The sore pain in my chest is suffocating. It felt like thousand of people were trying to get a hold of my heart and tries to stop it from doing its job.

Putangina. Bakit ba kase ganito kahirap magmahal? Bakit sa lahat si Caloy pa? Bakit sa bestfriend ko pa?

"ang tanga tanga arielle!" i hissed as i pulled my hair out of frustration.

Yes. Mahal ko si Diana Mae Carlos, mahal ko si Caloy, yung bestfriend ko mismo, mahal ko yung ngiti niya, yung mga mata niya na kahit kailan hindi nagsisinungaling at ngumingiti rin Sa tuwing masaya siya, mahal ko yung topakin na yun. Putangina, mahal na mahal ko siya pero iba yung mahal niya. How is that?

For a moment, i let myself drown in to the silence and the pain it comes with. Sometimes you don't really need to voice out the pain you are going through, crying it out in silence is one of those efficient way to relieve the pain.

And sleep too, so in this case i need to do both to easily forget the pain even temporarily so i let myself drifted in a sleep.

---

Third Person's POV

Hatinggabi na.

Banayad na humahaplos sa balat ni Tots ang malamig na simoy ng hangin habang pinagmamasdan ang maliwanag na kalangitan. She heaved a sigh for the nth time around.

2 hours. She's been waiting for 2 damn hours sitting in the middle of the cold cement of their dorm's rooftop.

"Ayel, please dumating ka naman oh" she whispered hoping she could hear her.