Tell me im worth it

chapter 4

I tie my Hair back and put on a cute baby pink blouse and some white jeans and some baby pink heels couse why not and leave my house.

I walk to a near by store and go to the medication bit, I pick out 5 pots of skinny pills and a few condoms. Only when I went to pay for them I noticed Cameron from AA (asking alexandria) talking to the check out girl. I sigh and that's when he sees me and after saying bye to the girl he comes right over.

"Hey love" he says smiling

"Hey c how's the band" I try to smile but today I did not feel great and before you ask no I don't feel like talking about it.

"Well we're getting quite popular " his smile turns into a grin

"Sounds like fun" I try harder at smiling

He looks down at what I was holding and lost his grin

"Why do u need them" he asks

"Their not for me their for my mum" I lie

"The condoms too?" He tries to lighten the mood

"Nah she has her own... now I should get going now" I smile

"The me too but hopefully I will see you soon love" he gives me a hug and leaves the store

I lay in bed feeling sick and hungry. I shouldn't be surprised considering I've not ate anything in the past 4 days after deciding there's nothing left to throw up I started using diet pills but I'm still fat so I have to do this for just a bit longer like another few weeks or so so well.... my readers I'm getting very tiered so please let me re........

° I look around and see nothing around me, just plain black everywhere.

'HELLO IS ANY ONE HERE' I yell trying to be herd

Someone grabs my neck from behind and then I herd a snap.... °

I scream as I sit up in bed and breathe deeply, why was I suddenly having all these dreams I have no idea but I can't take it right now. I sigh and get out off bed and walk over to my walk in closet and instead of going in I kneel down and pull at the pink rug on the floor there and pull out a picture of a baby girl, so cute and fragile, so soft and innocent, so small and un healthy. A tear escapes my eye, because you see this girl is was daughter who was born to early and she......

'She died' I whisper to myself

'Becouse of me' I cry and curl up in a ball holding the picture close.

(BLAKE'S POV)

I lay in bed wondering what Kate was doing. My phone rings and I answer.

'Hey' I say

'Um hi it's Lizzy so when can I see you again?' She says

'You can come over now but carefully so there won't have to be any more visited to the hospital' I tell her

After we talked for a bit and in about 15 minutes she knocked on my door. I invited her in and me and her soon made our way upstairs.

'What if this Kate finds out?' She asks while pushing me onto the bed and climbing on top.

"Babe she won't" I tell her but I knew I would have to end things soon. Anna kisses me and slowly pulls her shirt of and I uncool her bra and throw it some where in the room.

"You must have had a rough time thinking about all this, but it's fine I will help you relax" she smiles and leans down so so I kiss her until she pulled back she then slid down to un zip my jeans.....

(BACK TO KATE'S POV)

I wake up and do my morning routine and got dressed in some white jeans, a black crop top and some black heels. I left my Hair down and did my make up then took 5 pills and left my house to go to Blake's.

I knocked on his door and waited, after a bit he opened the door and gave me a kiss.

"Come in babe" he seemed happy today

As I walked in I noticed his place was quite clean today and it seemed his room mates were away as well

"So we're alone" I grin and he smiles then we race to the sofa and then played guitar hero for at least 3 hours. I won by far so I gave him a few kisses to cheer him up again and it worked.

Then we he'd to his room but before I could open the door he stood in front of it.

'What?' I ask smiling awe he thinks he can suprise how sweet... but I hate surprises so....

'Nothing just did I tell you how pretty you are' he smiles and leans down to kiss me and that line worked for a while unroll he started pulling my top off, I pulled away and smiled then pushed him out off the way and ran into his room with my top in his hands. I could feel the tears in my eyes when I saw what I saw..... on the bed was a pretty red headed girl a around my age... she was so beautiful and her hair lay around her bare sleeping body. I herd Blake behind me, his UN steady breathing. I felt so faint and I turned to face him.

'Who is she' I manage to spit out

'It's not what it looks like...' he tries

'WHO THE FUCK IS SHE BLAKE' I scream and hear the girl on the bed getting up

'Her names Lizzy Grey' he tries keeping calm but I could see the tears in his eyes

'I THOUGHT U LOVED ME FOR FUCK SAKE' I yell and turn to the girl who was now wearing jeans and a crop top and was just putting on her shoes as I walked up to her and pushed her hard, to the ground.

'BITCH HOW DARE U LAY IN HIS BED THAT ME AND HIM FUCK IN, HOW DARE YOU EVEN GO NEAR HIM KNOWING HE HAS ME, COUSE YOU KNEW DIDN'T YOU?!?!?!?' I scream with tears falling from my eyes

'Calm down Kate it's not that bad' Blake stood next to me. The red headed girl got up and punched me in the stomach and I herd a crack, I moan in pain and push her back before I kick her and trip her up, she gets up anyway and punches me in the face then when I was about to throw a ouch at her she takes something out of a drawer making me miss. I look at the silver gun she was pointing at me and Blake comes in front of me and stares at the gun too

' Go on shoot' he spits out and she pulled the trigger but nothing happened.

'WHY THE FUCK' She screamed and that's when I passed out.