Tell me im worth it

Chapter 7

* I look around and see me laying on the hospital bed with everyone crying around me, i went over to my body and touch my cold pale skin..... there was no mistaking it i was dead and there in the corner of the room was Heather, she runs over to me and i pick her up in my arms and she whispers 'let them go......mummy......ssstayyy withh mee' *

I bolt right up in bed, its just a bad dream its ok. they came in a bit earlier to give me this calming medicine and it seemed to work but i didn't want it too, i wanted to get all my anger out not end up using that blade again (just like last year). I end up trying to out of bed and fail a few times. after about half an hour i managed to take a few steps and a few more until i was sure i was going to be fine. i smiled down at my feet glad to be able to use them. i walk down to the cafeteria a few rooms down. i picked out some cereal and a banana.

after i had my breakfast i went back to my room to see Karolina and AA. i smiled at them and i probably scared the hell out of them considering i was grinning like a weirdo and i ran to hug Karolina then Ben, James, Danny, Cameron and finally Sam. then i saw Blake standing by the bed and i just froze. Emotions flooded through me, love, hate, regret, anger......

'WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING HERE!!' i ask violently 

'He wanted to talk to you but we didn't want him to do that alone... that's why we're here plus your allowed to leave early so.... tour starts early' Cameron says

'..... fine he can talk but i am not going anywhere alone with him' i say frowning at Blake who was looking at me with regret in his eyes or at least i hoped it was regret i saw

everyone stared at Blake as he stood there and began to speak.

'Im so sorry Kate..... i wish i could turn back time and i regret it so much please give me another chance' he was almost pleading how cute

'no' i answer but inside i was screaming yes

'please i will do anything..... anything'  he was pretty much pleading

'i will consider it ok?!? now you need to go before i throw something at that stupid little face of yours' i spit 

'fine just remember i'll be here' he says and heads for the door but Sam stops him and Blake turns around, and in a flash Sam punches Blake hard in the nose but Blake takes it pretty well and punches him back. They were soon on the ground punching and kicking each other. i walk over to them and try to split them up.

'STOP' i scream annoyed now and soon after the guys were getting dragged off to opposite ends on the room. Karolina looked as pissed of as i was. And eventually the guys stopped struggling and sighed. i looked at Blake and the blood dripping from his nose and then i looked at Sam with him split eyebrow. i take deep breaths and sit on the bed suddenly feeling sick and tiered. everyone runs over around me.

'You alright love?' Ben asks and i manage a nod

'im sorry' Sam says sitting next to me

'me too' Blake says

a few hours later i was wearing black jean shorts and a crop top and to top it all of some white converse and a leather jacket (and thigh high's). I fix my hair and make up then go to the reception to check out. after i check out i go outside and breathe in the fresh air run over to the tour bus waiting in the parking area. it was massive and then Sam opens the door and helps me in.

'Nice' i say looking around, there was a sofa and a table near it then a flat screen and a bit further down were the beds. 

'we know' Sam answers

'Wheres everyone?' i ask sitting down on the sofa

'Their all having food at the dinner down the road and i said i would wait for you' he smiles and sits next to me

'oh thanks but im really not hungry' i smile and my oh my were his eyes shinning under the light in here.

'i missed...... us' he admits

'......i do too sometimes' i admit and after we stare at each other he leans in and kisses me softly and surprise, surprise i was kissing him back. 

When we herd people talking and a door opening i clipped my bra on and put my top back on too then sat normally and put the tv on while Sam put his shirt on and sat up on the sofa. They all walk in smiling and see me, then like always they come over and hug me.

'Learn to share' Cameron said to Sam and Danny just looked at Sam and me and went to lie in one of the beds then Ben smirked and led Karolina into a small bedroom and shut the door then James sat down and just smiled at us.

(Her outfit for this is on the right side >>>>>>)

A few days later when we were in L.A. at about 9pm we headed off to a party down town. The guys were dressed in some ripped jeans and a jacket except James who said it was to cold. At the party the music was super load and people kept pushing me over so i went with Ben since Karolina stayed at the tour bus because she 'didn't feel like getting pissed tonight'. i played a few games with Ben and some other guys and a few girls. They were all wearing black and most wore bandanas, for the first time ever, i didn't fit in. Not with this crowd anyway so i went upstairs where there were a few rooms and i went into one that was empty. i went inside and sat by the open window and breathed in the clean air. Then i hear the door open and shut so i turn around to see...... Blake!?!

'oh hey what are you doing here?' he asks 

'on toar with Asking Alexandria remember?' i frown

'well i was invited by some friends and i swear i didn't know you were here..... if you want i can leave' he says and i noticed his nose was not as bruised anymore.

'its fine you can stay.... i was going to call you anyway' i sigh and sit on the bed

'what did you want to talk about' he sits next to me and for a second he looked just like Sam but i shook that image out of my head .

'Us and how i kind of missed you too' i admit feeling shame because i told myself that i wont do this again..... well do him again.

'i would love it if you gave me another chance' he smiles and i could see the hope in his eyes

'......ok but if you hurt me again i hope you realize not only will i kill you but everyone else too' i warn him smiling slightly forgetting all about Sam

'thank you' he smiles and gives me a kiss but i don't kiss him back i just pull back

'this does not change the anger i feel for you' i tell him

so he lays down and i lay down next to him and we just left it off there.

us sleeping together with no sex........ no nothing but it felt like something better than sex....... now this might sound cheesy but........ it felt like love..................