love struck in LA Beau brooks

21-regrets and forgiveness

Ella

Beau got back from tour about 5 days ago. One night i sent Juliet to her friends house and well you know what happened after that. Anyways this morning i got a call from MTV apparently the channel called LifeTime saw my work for them and VEVO and want me to film for them!!! Can you believe it my life is turning out to be perfect! The show is called Dance Moms i have never heard of it before but it seems to be very popular. Anyways the season should be finished filming soon and once they air it they want me down there asap to start filming the next season. Of course i don't need to be there until next month and the show is filmed in Pittsburgh. I have no idea how i am going to tell Beau but i have some time to figure everything out.

Anyways the boys are back. Taylor is off in New York. Ariana is on Tour. Victoria is going to be filming her new show Eye Candy soon. Carla is moving to Florida with her sister to get away from everything for a while, and that just leaves Sahara. Oh good ole Sahara, all her family lives in the south and with all her friends venturing off to do their own thing she has agreed to come and help me with Juliet in Pittsburgh.

I finish working with VEVO this week and then i have the rest of the time off to just enjoy sunny California before I need to pack my bags and head to Pittsburgh. I am going to go sight seeing all next week and the week after. Then me and Sahara planed to take a trip to Las Vegas for a couple of days Especially because its Sahara's birthday. Time is just flying by. It feels like just yesterday me and Juliet were sleeping in the same room together at my uncles apartment in England Trying to make it by. And now here we are.

Ariana heard the news of my new job offer and decided to throw me a going away party with all he people that I have meet in my short year here in LA. Yeah I cant believe its been here for a year already. She even agreed to inviting Jai even though they broke up agian last week. Again.

I called Beau over my house to tell him about my job offer. My hands started to shake knowing he was on his way over. All i said was that we needed to discuss somethings but I didn't want to give off the idea I was breaking up with him. Maybe i should text him again and tell him what its about. Just as I was going to grab my phone there was a knock out the door

My gulp was audible as i took a deep breath and walked to the door. Opening it up Beau was a mess. His hair was tossed and his eyes were red, little beads of sweat were forming on her head and arms.

"Who told you." he asked me and i stood there with a questioning look. He never looked in my eyes once, like he was afraid to see me. He walked into my apartment and leaned up on the counter.

"Ella I am so so sorry," he cried, "I didn't mean for it to happen and i should have told you, and i feel terrible that u found out through someone else and not me." he exclaimed.

Now I was getting angry. Beau was hiding something from me, he thinks i called him over because i found out about something obviously bad that occurred.

"Beau." i said in a wary tone,

"No. Ella. Please I am sorry, Ella who told you." he said growing frustrated,

"Told me what?" I yelled

"God Ella stop trying to make me say my sins to you, I said I was sorry you don't need to rub it into me." He grunted

"Honestly I have no idea what you're talking about!" i said throwing my hands up and then having them slap down on my thighs

"FINE! You wanna humiliate me, THATS FINE. I SAID SORRY ELLA I AM SORRY I FUCKING CHEATED ON YOU!!" He yelled, and the world around me blured away. I became numb for a moment and then all my emotions hit me like a punch to the face. I grew angry, and disgusted with him, disapointed in him, and furious with myself that I let this happen. How dare he. How dare he disregard a loyal loving girlfriend for some one nightstand with a whore. But the strongest of all emotions, was sadness and the ache in my heart grew every second. And the one thing i wanted to do most was to curl up in a ball and cry.

I sniffled back a cry. I walked right upto him looked him right in the eye, and slapoed him across the face. "You are a sad sorry excuse of a man, you dont deserve to be peoples heros, not when you crush others soles. I never did anything wrong, we had a good relationship, and the second, the second I turn my back to grive about my DEAD AUNT YOU ARE IN FUCKING EROUP WITH YOUR DICK SHOVED UP SOME SLUT!! God, like I dont have enough crap in my life. Oh and Beau, I didnt find out from someone else you just told me. I didn't know untill you spat it into my face." I said looking at his now read face, he had a sign of relief and regret on his face after he realized I honestly didn't know he had cheated on me.

"I was going to tell you I got a job offer, and that I am moving, I was expecting us to cry and hold each other and promiss to try and make it work," I said blinking back tears as I looked away from him, "I was expecting us to confess things to eachother, and talk about where we wanted this relationship to go. I, I was scared to tell you I was leaving, because I thought you would want to leave me. And yell at me for wasting a year of your time on a dead end relationship." My arms were folded as I stared at the wall infront of me.

I was afraid to look at him. I was so sick to my stomch with agonny and disgust that if i looked at him i would loose the only dignity that i had left. He build me up and stripped me down leaving me bare and vonerable and just as unhappy as when i first arrived in LA. He destroyed me.

"I am glad this relationship is not to blam on me, Its your falt Beau, you ruined our chances at anything," I sniffled agian a little, "And you know what, I was stupid enough to think we had something, that we could have a future together. You know at one point I wanted to be the mother of your childeren." I shook my head in disapointment

"I really loved you Beau. Your the only man I ever truly loved." I said in a whisper and a tear slipped onto my face and down to my chin.

"I was scared of men after my father and, and i thought you showed me how to truat them agian. I was beginning to trust agian, and to learn how to love agian, but that was compleatly shadered, by one thing."

I looked over to him and he too was crying. He opened his mouth to talk and closed it quickly. "Ella, I love you too." he choaked out, but i just shook my head

"No you dont," I said unde my breath, " becasue if you did you would have never eve ngivng the girl a second glance before i popped into your mind." I bit down on my lip to stop my tears as they dripped down my face one by one.

I looked into his mint green eyes on last time before i my heart was aching so much I am sure i heard it cracking and shattering into my lifeless body. I was looking back at the wall whipping a tear, I was officially broken, and there would be a one in a million chance of fixing me.

I huffed out a shakey breath. "Get out." I wispered.