Queen Of Hell & Paradise (Immortal gods: Book 1)

Chapter 2- Honest Advice

Hades

To err is human.

To ascend to Olympus in seek of advice from the Queen goddess of marriage and the divinity possessing dominion over love, beauty, and pleasure-- is simply foolish.  

"If a woman says you are wrong --regardless if it is true or not-- what do you do?" Aphrodite asks, taking a seat in front of me. 

I press my lips together, highly suspicious I had been wrong for ascending to see my Queen sister. Thus far, their questions have been lacking true sense-- they've not had logic behind them. Instead, they are frivolous inquiries based on conserving already friable relationships rather than creating deep-rooted bonds, and are quite frankly-- pointless.

Their queries have consisted of answers along the lines of 'if I do not like the dress a woman is wearing, my responsibility is to tell her she does not appear distended in it' and 'if I am asked what my thoughts are on the attractiveness of another woman, the answer is always a negative one'. Simply recalling the correct responses to some their ridiculous questions has me swallowing back mild vexation. 

Has it not been honesty the most valued of qualities in a relation? What is the objective in feigning a feeling or reception? It will only end in disaster. The ultimate ingredient in the recipe for an enduring relationship is full sincerity, is it not? Why then, are the two most experienced beings in this area ill-advising me? 

I stare at her flatly.

"If I am right, I will not deceive her into believing otherwise."

Hera shakes her head, supporting Aphrodite's suddenly stern gaze. 

"Er! Wrong!" she corrects, furrowing her brows, "The actual answer is that your significant other is always in the right."

I bring a hand to my temple, rubbing away my quickly-forming headache. 

"Tell me again why I am listening to this nonsense?" 

"Because I am the incarnation of love and pleasure. And also because you wish to be humped, not dumped," she says, adjusting her hair. I raise a brow at her words as Hera gasps, casting Aphrodite a reprimanding glare. 

"Such language is not suited for a goddess."

She materializes a fan and lightly strikes her arm with it, causing the former to roll her eyes, planting a hand firmly on her hip as she flips her hair with the other. 

"Well, I've always been ahead of my time," she counters, turning to move away. She approaches her suitcase, reaching to remove its contents as she searches for something in particular. Upon coming up empty, she knits her forehead, extending her arms and materializing a set of garments.

She turns to me with a wide smile. 

"If you're descending to the surface, I suggest changing up your look."

She sets down the array of dark robes and apparel, picking up a pair of trousers as she spreads the waistband at its length, urging me to stand before bringing it up to my waist.  

Upon measuring me, she throws them over her shoulder and reaches for the top garments, repeating her earlier movements and laying them up against my upper body. Her hands slide atop my shoulders, and she narrows her eyes to concentrate on the sleek ensemble. 

Had I not been so assured with my godly looks, I'd have been uncomfortable beneath her scrutinizing gaze. Her eyes roam my figure over, and she tilts her head to the side, no doubt attempting to fix me with an image in her mind. 

"Okay, so I'd suggest wearing polo shirts to suit your broad shoulders, and combining them with trousers that have an adequate turn up. It'll accentuate your tall physique quite well, and taper your shoulders to a nice minimum."

"You've got a good frame, Hades," she adds, "But we don't want to risk looking... grotesque. You're far too lean to wear anything chunky."

I return her locked stare expressionlessly, unable to respond. It has not exactly been my greatest concern to interest myself in my appearance. In fact, had I not been born divine, I may very well have been of average or unseemly countenance. 

"Now, as for your hair--" she starts again, extending out a hand to my headful of curls. I step back, shaking my head. 

"Let us not concern ourselves with my hair," I reply coolly, placing my hand on her own and lowering it from its position on my locks. She lifts a challenging brow and purses her lips. 

"I was simply going to suggest leaving it as it is, but now I want to chop it all off because of that comment," she retorts, crossing her arms. I press my lips together, more than regretting my decision to ascend. I did not leave my duties behind to receive suggestions on bettering my appearance, I am fine as it is. 

I am about to say such to Aphrodite, but she beats me to speaking. 

"Trust me on this, Aidoneus," she lectures, pointing an index at me, "Mortals are more taken by beauty than by personality at first glance. If you are right and this girl is quite beautiful, do not think there are no other suitors waiting to be given a chance."

 I frown, sending the garments tossed to the side a disdainful glance. As much as I may want to counter her argument, I know she is right. If there is one thing I have learned about mortals, it is that they are fickle and at times rather shallow-- I can not disregard this fact (though in all frankness, gods are not much different). 

"Very well," I clip, waving a hand, "Show me the garments."

Aphrodite grins impishly. 

"I knew you'd see it my way!"