You're Mine

Chapter 40: Destiny Screwed Us Over

     Tonight, Kevin will celebrate his eighteenth birthday at the nightclub in downtown. I had to go, but I didn't want to. After this letter, my mood changed.

     I went into the kitchen to drink water and ate a cookie. I needed the strength to read the diary.

     He came back for me?

     I sat down on the sofa, took a deep breath and started to read the diary.

     Dear Diary,

     If I can't be with Betty then I can't have any contact with her, because I would lose control completely. No phone calls or messages will be possible. It's harsh I know, but I couldn't even bear the sound of her voice if we can't be together. But it didn't mean that I didn't wish for her every day.

     Dear Diary,

     The day wouldn't pass that I didn't think her might be with another guy. That drove me crazy. I was so far and helpless. To make the irony bigger, I wanted to be able to protect her as a sister even though we are not together. It's sick, right? But what if somebody hurt her? I wouldn't even know about it and I couldn't beat them. Not to mention the thought of her fucking with another. Once in my room I hit the wall with my fist and made a hole, when I just thought about it.

     Dear Diary,

     Tonight I lost control and sent her a message that I missed her. I asked her not to answer me and she didn't, so I felt even worse. I swore I would never repeat that mistake.

     Dear Diary,

     I felt that I made the biggest mistake in my life by leaving her. I never told anyone what I did with her. The only person I trusted was Polly, who became to me something like a real sister. Polly was trying to persuade me to come to Riverdale and tell Betty how I feel. I thought she wouldn't want to see me even if she's still worried about me. I hurt her so much that I couldn't figure out if she would be able to forgive me.

     Dear Diary,

     In spite of my fears, I booked the ticket the today, I know it's the New Year's Eve, but I couldn't wait to see her, I wanted to hug her again. I didn't know what to say and what will I do when I see her. I didn't even know if she was seeing someone. I went completely unprepared. For the first time in my life, I put myself in the first place and listened to my heart.

     Dear Diary,

     I was hoping it wasn't too late because I really wanted to apologize for everything I didn't tell her 3 months ago. She didn't even know I loved her way before that night when she gave me her virginity.
     When I finally reached her house, I rang the door bell, but no one answered. Pop's served as a perfect place to wait for her. I knocked on that door every hour from 4pm till 9pm, but they didn't open, so I just came back to Pop's and waited.
     It was 9:15pm. I will never forget the moment when my desire was fulfilled. I saw her. But not the way I wanted it to happen. Betty.
     She had a thick white winter jacket when she came into Pop's. She weren't alone. She looked happy. She didn't notice me because her back were facing me, and I was sitting at a corner table.
     Steve leaned over and gently kissed her cheek. I was screaming in myself, 'Don't touch her!'. I then read from his lips, telling her, "I love you."
     What was I supposed to do? To come and say: "Oh, hey, I'm Betty's stepbrother. I fucked her once like crazy and left her the next day. It seems to me that she's happy with you and you probably deserve her, but I was hoping you would piss off and give me your place."
     I watched the waiter bring them food. I watched as they ate. I watched him ten times leaning to kiss her. I would close my eyes and listen to the sound of her laugh. I don't know why I stayed. I couldn't make myself to leave her. I knew it was probably the last time I'll ever see her again.
     When they finished with their food, they got up. She didn't look in my direction, not once. I didn't even think what would I do if she noticed me. I was too tired to move or think clearly. I watched her every second until she closed the door behind them.
     The next morning I boarded the plane and went back.

     Dear Diary,

     My father telephoned me today for the first time after almost a year. I asked him about Betty and he told me that she's in a really happy relationship. That was the last time I've said her name. It took me almost three months to build a relationship with someone else...

     I had to stop a little bit. My eyes were so full of tears that I didn't even see the last words clearly.

     I closed my eyes to see if I could remember of something that might have told me about Billy's presence. He was there. How did I not know he was right behind me?

     He came back for me.
     It wasn't quite clear to me yet.

     I remembered that night. I remembered that Steve and I were at the beginning phase of our relationship. It all went well. I remembered at midnight that Steve kissed me and protected me from the cold. I remembered I was in the midst of that magical night with a guy who was perfect and who really cared for me, but I just wanted Billy.

     And Billy was there the whole time.
     Destiny screwed us over.

A/N

Sorry this chapter is short, but soon I'll get my spring break!

Anyway thank you for 2k votes, thank you to everyone that votes!!!

Keep it up! Love you!