Asylum | E.D

30

"They blamed me for the death of my brother. I'm a horrible person."

Jaylee

I slowly made my way outside the bedroom, my eyes felt heavy on my head. My now brown hair tangled, a strand dangling on my face. I looked outside the window at the far end of the hallway, the sun slightly peeking on the half-closed blinds. I stepped closer to the stairs on the left corner near where I was. 

Downstairs, I can hear the sound of pans and plates and other kitchen utensils making a sound. I heard voices, mumbling something to each other to which I couldn't hear from here. 

Beside the staircase is a small cabinet, with picture frames placed on top of it. I took a moment to look at the photos and realised that it was a picture of me, my brother Alex and sister Jessica. I held the picture frame into my hands, a genuine smile plastered on my face. I looked normal, almost carefree.

"Thats my favourite picture." A voice spoke behind me, and when I turned to my side, my father. I placed the picture down, feeling my cheeks flush at the thought of me intruding and being caught. 

He cleared his throat, and then patted my shoulders before going into the direction of the door and leaving. I decided to head to the kitchen shortly afterwards and saw Ethan and Grayson already sitting on the kitchen table.

They offered me a smile as they saw me enter, and I scanned the room for any signs of my mom. Fortunately for me, she wasn't here. My mother appeared after a few seconds and I didn't say anything after that.

-

"Are you okay, you've been quiet all day?" Ethan asks me that afternoon as he sat beside me on the chair at the backyard of my parents house.

I sighed, covering my face with both of my hands as I close my eyes. "I'm sorry. I...I guess I'm just hurt, and mad." I tell him.

"Well don't let your emotions overpower your understanding." He tells me. "You'd just end up hurting people unconsciously." He says.

"I'm a horrible person." I sniffed.

"No you're not," He assured me, taking off my hands away from my face making me look at him. "You helped me Jay, that makes you a good person you know?" He says, causing a small smile to spread across my face.

The sun started to hide behind the clouds, inching lower close to its sunset painting the sky a shade of red, purple and orange. It looked beautiful, and I wish just like the sky during sunset, my life could be a wonder too.

"I want to know why they thought it was me." I muttered, more to myself but Ethan is fast to catch up on what I just said.

"Then talk to her." Ethan responded looking at me. "That's why we're here, right?" 

"That's what I thought." I sighed, massaging my temples as I feel my head aching again. "But it's more complicated than it sounds. I mean..."  There's a long pause. I don't know how to explain what I'm feeling now into words.

The feeling of being abandoned, being deprived of the things I should've experienced, being deprived of a family, everything is slowly creeping its way inside my system. Filling my heart with confusion and maybe even hatred.  Hatred to myself, to the asylum, to my parents for leaving me.

The sky started to dim much now than it was just a few minutes ago, casting a dark shade of purple up in the sky. The flashback I had when we were escaping the asylum had been at the back of my mind since then. It never left, I'm just lucky sometimes that I managed to push those all away.

My brother is really gone. And it stings, but it's the truth. After all, what I've learned is that, the truth hurts a million times than what we try to convince our minds.

"I'm gonna go check up on Gray, you need anything?" Ethan asks me.

I shake my head and he nods, getting up and heading inside. I was left there, with tears starting to form in the side of my eyes, the sun finally setting and the sky turning gray. The wind suddenly became much colder making me shiver. Too cold, just like what I'm feeling deep inside.

Shattered and cold. Heart hammering and breaking all over the place.  A single tear finally escaped my eyes, as I sat there all alone, with my clothes failing to protect me from the cold.

I just want my old life back.