Asylum | E.D

39

"I think Ethans in love with you."

Jaylee

"Someone's knocking."

Ethan, Grayson, and I all looked at each other and snapped our heads towards the front door as the knocking continues. It was a soft knock at first, and then a hurried one.

"I'll go get it." Ethan offered, standing up from his seat. I looked at Grayson and he shrugged, mouthing an I-don't-know in his lips. Ethan crossed the room, towards the front door.

He glanced at us for a second before slowly opening the door. The moment he opened the door, there was a loud gunfire, and the next thing we knew, Ethan's already lying on the floor, hole on his head from the gunshot. My throat got restricted and tears started to fall down my eyes.

I tried calling for his name, but I can't even open my mouth. Instead, a shriek came out of my throat and I feel trapped.

"Jaylee! Jaylee!" I woke up to the sound of Grayson's voice waking me up. When I opened my eyes, I saw Grayson sitting on my side waking me up. It was a dream, no scratch that, it was a nightmare.

"What happened?" He asks, sounding concerned and I hug him out of pure relief that it was all just a terrible nightmare.

"It was nothing." I say. "It's just a stupid nightmare I keep on getting. Where's Ethan?"

He looks confused at first but then nodded, gaze landing towards the door. "He's in his room, sleeping."

I felt dizzy. I really hate these nightmares. Why can't they just leave me alone?

"Wanna talk about it?" He asked.

I shook my head, "Not really."  He nods, but a flicker of disappointment crossed his features.

He was about to get up when I hold his arm. "But can you stay here? In case those nightmares appear again." 

He smiled and then sat back on the bed, "okay."

The room is dark, except for the glow of the moon reflecting on the window. It's also quiet, and the digital clock resting on the bedside table reads 12:34 midnight. I moved on the left side of the bed to give space for Grayson as I motioned for him to lie down. He smiled, ruffled my hair and then lies flat on his back.

"So," he trailed off, "Are you two a thing now?"

I was taken aback by his sudden question, and I felt heat spread through my cheeks. Memories of what had happened a day ago ran through my head. "It's not . I don't k—" 

"I've saw you two," He cut me off. "Yesterday, kissing." He grins at me. "I think Ethan's in love with you."

"I don't know what love is. I've never loved someone like that before." I sigh. "I know what it is, but I don't know the deeper meaning behind it." I say.

He adjusted his position so he's now facing me, his head resting on his hands as his elbows are against the mattress, "Love has a really vague description. You'll never really know what it is until you yourself experience it." 

"Have you ever been in-love?" I asked, feeling even more curious now.

There's a flash of sadness that crossed his features as he answered, "Twice. Both fucked me up, unfortunately."

"I'm sorry."

He sighed, then gave me that reassuring smile once more. "I told you, don't feel sorry. Feelings are feelings, just like life is life. And despite of the downside of it, it's what makes it wonderful."

"Can I ask another thing?" I say, adjusting my position too, so now I'm facing him.

He nods me to go with the question and so I started, "How do you know if you're in love?" He reached for my hair and messed with it before answering.

"You just know. And I'm pretty sure Ethan would teach you more about it. Now go to sleep, Jay."

I smiled back, "Goodnight, Gray."

-

"Remember when we're escaping the asylum? When we heard hushed voices talking and then someone said 'No one's letting them out.' Do you guys remember that?" I asked the two guys that afternoon the next day. 

We're all sitting around the kicthen table, eating chips while waiting for any calls from Jane. Unfortunately, half an hour of waiting and we're still empty-handed.

"I don't remember anything. The anger towards Lewis must've blocked out all my memory that day," Ethan said. 

"Do you think we're who they're talking about?" I ask.

"Maybe." They both answered in unison.

I sighed, run my hands through my hair, my face and sighed again. Mostly in pure exhaustion from everything.

"Have you heard from Jane, yet?" I asked Grayson.

He looked at me before answering, "Not yet" He sighs.

The sun outside wasn't up anymore, instead, replaced by a rain pouring down outside making the atmosphere dark, and cold. The clock attached to the wall has its short hands pointing towards the east, and the long hand pointing slightly towards the south. 

I'm getting tired of all of these, of all the questions, of my so-far from normal life. I'm getting so damn tired of living.