third time's a charm

"i miss you"

chapter seven: i miss you

Sunday, December 10. 6:26 pm.

"Not to brag, but I did pretty damn good." My mom and I looked over at Will to see him admiring his Christmas Village. Will had bought a new addition to his town every year since he was six, and he was always in charge of decorating the little town during Christmas time. We always placed the town on the sideboard that sat in the back of our living room.

"That looks very nice, Will," Mom said, smiling widely as she looked at it. Will always did a good job at decorating, so I wasn't surprised. Not feeling entirely amazed, I turned back around to continue decorating the tree. "Okay, sister, we've got three more ornaments and then we are done."

"Sweet," I replied quietly, concentrating on the tree as I searched for a good spot for the ornament in my hand. "Oh, Will, can you check on the cookies?"

"Yes, ma'am," Will said, nodding over to me before leaving the room to go into the kitchen. I found the perfect place for the ornament and situated it in the tree.

"So, what's been on your mind?" I looked over at my mom as she spoke and I furrowed my eyebrows at her, confused as to why she was asking. "Ellie, I'm your mother, I know you. You've been jittery all day, and you have never wanted to be finished decorating for Christmas so badly in all of your life."

"Oh, I just didn't get very much sleep last night... just not feeling myself," I lied with a shrug of my shoulders as I leaned down and grabbed another ornament. My mom gently reached over and took the ornament from me, trying to gain my attention. "Mom."

"Eloise."

"What do you want me to say?" I sighed, not knowing what she thought I was going to admit to her.

"I want you to talk to me... you never talk to me," Mom sighed as she took it upon herself to place the ornament in the tree and I bit my lip gently as I thought about my current situation with Jamie.

"I've been wanting to text a boy back all day long," I admitted, my words coming out quickly and jumbled together. My mom seemed surprised by my words and I waited for her to say something.

"A boy?" she asked, making sure she had heard me correctly. "Who?"

"I can't tell you," I said, sighing quietly as I looked down. "I wish I could."

"Ellie... I hate to break it to you, but you have to tell me who it is if you want to keep talking to them. You can't just go run around with just anybody." My eyebrows furrowed as my mom spoke and I let out a small, cheap laugh.

"So Will can run around with no-names all he wants, but as soon as I find a guy, I'm not allowed?" I asked, thinking her ideology was entirely unfair.

"I've always known Will's serious girlfriends—"

"This boy is not a serious boyfriend... yet."

"Does Will know him?" Mom asked and I groaned, wishing I had just continued to lie to my mom instead of telling her anything.

"Yeah, in a way," I said, shrugging my shoulders as I tried to make the situation casual. "He goes to North, and that's all I'm going to say. I'm just seeing if he's worth my time... please let me be a little happy."

"What, because I usually make you so miserable?" Mom asked, rolling her eyes.

"Don't do that... you know what I meant," I told her, wishing I was better at talking to her, but knowing I had never been the best at it. "I want you to know him... I don't want to hide him. He's not a bad guy, I promise. He's actually really, really nice. I just don't want Will or Vales interfering, that's all. Once things get more serious, I promise I'll talk about it, but right now we're just getting to know each other." I knew I was starting to sound desperate for my mom's approval, but it meant a lot to me. The situation was complicated and I needed her to trust that I wasn't making stupid decisions. Mom stayed quiet as she processed my words and I waited patiently for a reply.