third time's a charm

"who's the girl?"

chapter fifteen: who's the girl?

Saturday, December 16. 9:02 am.

The next morning might as well have been an unaired episode of The Twilight Zone.

Completely forgetting about the events that had taken place the night before—Jamie coming over, Jamie meeting my mom, my dad coming home early, and Jamie then meeting my dad—I descended down the steps in need of something good to eat, and a big cup of something caffeinated.

The scent of food filled my nose once I hit the bottom of the steps, and I followed it all the way into the kitchen, where I was surprised to see my dad's back turned as he stood in front of the stove. He had made a feast, which excited me, but his presence caused chills to run down my spine.

Most likely hearing my footsteps, my dad glanced over his shoulder and stopped what he was doing as he noticed me.

"Good morning," he greeted, turning around to talk to me.

"Morning," I replied quietly as I felt my nerves getting the best of me; I silently hoped we would spare ourselves from having a conversation.

But I never had been very lucky.

"Looks like we're the first ones up this morning," he deduced with me a smile. "Are you usually awake first?"

Realizing he didn't have any clue of the normalcy in the house caused me to feel strange; I cleared my throat before shrugging my shoulders.

"Depends on the day," I told him. My words had come out slow and awkward. "Will usually has a better sleep schedule than me. But now that football is over, he isn't working out like he used to. He'll start back up after the holidays... that's what he always does."

"I see." My dad nodded his head as I spoke, and I decided to take a seat at the small island in the center of the kitchen. "I just wanted to apologize for my surprise appearance last night. Uh..." My dad turned back toward the stove and transferred the last pancake he had made onto a plate before turning the burner off and placing the pan on a cooled stove burner. I watched him as he went along, continuing to watch as he turned back around and made his way over to me, taking a seat beside me. "I probably should have stuck to the schedule, and I realize that... it's not really my place to come barging in, so I want to say that I'm sorry for doing so."

"It's... fine," I told him. I wasn't entirely sure what else would have been appropriate to say in the moment. "Can I be blunt with you?"

"Um..." My dad genuinely seemed nervous as he thought about whether or not he wanted me to tell him how I was feeling, but he nodded. "Of course, yeah... go ahead."

"You don't have to put on an act," I said, gulping nervously as I spoke. "You don't have to try to act like you want to talk to me, or catch up... it's not a big deal." I watched my dad's facial expression falter as I spoke, and it seemed as though I had hurt his feelings.

"Can I be blunt with you?"

"It's only fair," I told him, nodding him on to continue.

"If I didn't care about catching up on your life, or Will's... I would not be here. I'm a shit dad, and I'm not trying to act like I'm not. I know that I am. But I do love you... immensely. And, quite frankly, all I want is to get caught up on all the things I've missed. I want to be punched in the face with how much better off you are without me in your life... because I'm sure you've never even considered me to be important to the things you've accomplished. Because I'm not... at all. You've done just about everything without me." I bit my lower lip gently as I listened to my dad, and for some reason my heart was pounding. I wasn't scared of talking to him, but it made me nervous that he was actually here. It didn't seem real. "So, I'm not putting on an act. I genuinely want to talk to you, and catch up on things I've missed. Not that I really deserve to... but I want you to know that I'm not just putting on some kind of show."