third time's a charm

opening up

chapter twenty-four: opening up

Friday, December 22. 11:53 am.

"Have you eaten?" Jamie asked me once we had gotten inside his house. I shook my head, no. "Is there anything you might want to eat?" Jamie took my hand in his as he walked me toward the kitchen, and I tried to decide what I was in the mood for.

"Do you have any cereal?" I asked, not really in the mood for anything too complicated.

"Our cereal shelf is sort of insane," Jamie spoke with a strange look in his eye. He seemed somewhat out of it, and as if he was thinking intently about something. His state caused me to giggle, and I waited for him to say something else. "None of us like the same cereals... so we sort of buy everything." We walked over to what I was assuming was the pantry door, and as he opened it, my eyes lit up.

You know in movies when people have perfect houses, with perfect kitchens, and they have magical pantries with an abundance of snacks? I felt like I was in one of those movies.

"Jesus," I whispered, looking around at everything they had. "I've been in your kitchen a dozen times... how did I not know about this?" There pantry was big enough to walk into, so that's what I did. The cereal was front and center and there were at least ten boxes of different kinds.

My mom had only ever let Will and I choose two different types of cereal at a time.

"You seem a little overwhelmed," Jamie said, laughing quietly as he observed me. "The only reason there's so much in here right now is because my parents haven't been in charge of supplying snacks for Graysie's team the past couple of weeks."

"Oh," I held out the word for a long while as I realized the reason for having such a well-stocked pantry. "Does Graysie have friends over a lot?"

"Yeah... usually we both do," Jamie said, nodding his head slowly. "My parents like a full house, I think."

"You can sacrifice time with me to spend with your friends, you know," I spoke quietly as I started to inspect the cereals, and Jamie became quiet. I glanced back at him and he was leaned up against the doorframe, looking at me. "I don't want you missing out on time with your friends—"

"I don't think I'd rather be spending time with them," Jamie spoke over me, and I could tell he had been deciding whether he should admit that or not. "Aleks wanted me to tell you he's sorry for being so weird the other night—"

"No one should be worried about that," I told Jamie, shaking my head. I was willing to give Aleks plenty of chances, and I didn't want Jamie thinking I was upset over one of his friends having an opinion. "It's okay... tell him he's fine."

"You can choose whatever, by the way. Gray won't be upset if you eat some of hers, as long as it's not one of us doing it." I smiled to myself at his words and looked back at the options. "I don't really know why I'm going back to this... but I think we're not spending so much time together because we're all so busy with senior year. My friends, I mean." I decided on Cinnamon Toast Crunch and turned around to look at Jamie. "Hey," he said, smiling as he pointed to the box, "those are mine."

"Cute," I said, laughing quietly as we made our way away from the pantry. "That makes sense, though. Your friend thing, that is." Jamie handed me a bowl and I poured the amount of cereal that I wanted. Jamie also handed me the milk from the fridge and I poured that as well. Jamie decided he wanted a bowl as well, so I sat at the island in their kitchen as I waited for him. He sat down next to me once he had put everything back, and we ate together. "Does being busy make you sad?"

"Again... I don't think I'd rather spend time with them. I love them all, really... the group's dynamic just hasn't been the same for awhile. One of us is always stressed about some scholarship essay, or freaking out about something our parents said about college... we're all just heading for really different paths. We can understand each other's frustration to an extent, but not completely. I'm looking forward to spending some time with them after I get back... but I don't really know what to expect."