The truth....

Chapter twenty- blow out the candles and make a wish -Part one

Hayleys POV
I'll be fine as long as I continue to do therapy.....let's hope I'll be fine....

I tried to keep my mind occupied off things other than jakes birthday that was coming up very fast..

*makes a YouTube video*
"Hey guys it's me Hayley, I know I haven't posted in a long time, and most of you know why... if you don't why it's because my boyfriend/fiancé passed away a few months ago....I'm not going to get into detail on how he died that's for another video...however this video is going to be about how my mental health is. since most of you guys know I was on drugs and I almost died because of them... jakes death put me in a hard position where I was making stupid choices and only thinking of myself...my son is sad but he's too young to fully understand what happened...Colby has been an amazing help through this all...jakes birthday is coming up soon and it will be a difficult time for all of us..but we are going to celebrate his birthday just like how he would have wanted us too.......that's all
I have for you guys today, I'm trying really hard to start posting a lot more.....

*jakes birthday*
Hayleys POV
I thought our anniversary which is my birthday would be the hardest, but no his is the hardest...I started thinking about his 19th birthday, it was the night we first had sex, that night was special to me....
*flashback*
"Happy birthday man" Colby said "I got you a present" "thanks bro, what is it?"
Jake ripped open the wrapping paper eagerly awaiting to see what Colby got him.."condoms??" "Wait does that mean...." "yes Jake that means I'm your present.." I said seductively. "Uhm in that note I think I'll go on home and let you two do your thang.." Colby left so we decided it was time to do "our thang". We went up stairs to jakes room, since his parents were gone we didn't bother locking the door. Jake wanted to take it slow so we did. Jake and I started to make out, which got really heated and he took off his shirt... he gently pulled my leggings completely off and he asked "Hayley will you take off that top and let me see what's underneath?" I immediately took it off...then he took my bra off and started to leave hickeys all over my breast. We were making out some more and then we just got completely naked.. he put the condom on and he gently went in..i moaned loudly so he put his hand over my mouth and said "not so loud baby girl"... he sure knew what he was doing to be a Virgin...Then that was it.. Jake and I made love.. It felt like in that moment the greatest sex in our life. Then he said it.." I love you" I was so shocked because this was the first time he said it, so I said it back "I love you too, Jake."

*Back to present *
Hayleys POV
I started to cry.. I'll never to get to make love to him again.. I'll never get to speak to him again...I'll never get to say I love you... I thought everything was getting better but it was getting worse..
I couldn't go back to drugs.......

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I wanna thank each and everyone of you for waiting and being patient with me through this. This chapter was very hard, and part two to this chapter is coming soon!