Battle Scars ➳ Ashton Irwin || #Wattys 2016

Chapter Fifteen

~ Previous ~

Why Can't all the pain just stop? Why cant the world just stop hating, life is tough of a place for someone like me. People like me don't ever get what they deserve. No matter what, The pain will never stop, but soon enough when I take my last breath all the pain will wash away, and all my scars can become beautiful.

~ Present ~

Ashton

By now it was a little past noon and Skyler and Grace had left to go back to their campus. The boys and I had started cleaning up from last nights mess. There were beer cans scattering the surrounded sand by the fire pit.

Last night was the first time I've ever seen Shay so happy. She was getting drunk off her ass but she just seemed so care free. I just wish she was like that more often. Last night was just amazing.  lWe all got to connect on certain levels. Shay and I more than others.. But I wish there was more ways to make her realize that I need her in my life besides kissing her. She needs to know that I want her to feel okay in this world again, I just was at a loss of ideas.

"You okay, mate?" Calum asks. I had stopped picking up trash and just stared around. I just needed to figure out how to take better care of her.

"Uhm, yeah. But can I talk to you about something?" I throw the bag of bottles in the back of my truck and Calum walks beside me.

"Sure, what's up?" He crosses his arms and leans his back against my truck.

"It's just, I need to show Shay that I care about her. I can't think of anything, I just want to make her feel wanted and special again. Ya know? Besides kissing her I don't know how to make her feel any better. You've been in more relationships that me. Can you help me out?" I ramble.

"Well I can give you ideas. Like.. How about taking her to the movies? Or even just taking her on a date? I'm not much for a romantic kind of guy, if you know what I mean." he smirks.

I roll my eyes. "oh shut up, it's better than anything I've got. I mean, she deserves to be treated special." She's so sweet an innocent I don't get who in the hell could hurt someone so special.

Calum nods his head and I speak again.

"I don't know where to take her, Cal. I'm horrible at this kind of stuff." I groan and punch the side of the truck.

"Calm down, Ash. I'll help you. Don't worry about it right now, you'll make it perfect. Don't stress it." Calum pays my back and walks back over to the pit.

I just wanted to impress her.
Its funny how she can have such a huge affect on me.The way she bites her lip and runs her fingers through her hair when shes nervous. The way she sings in the shower when she thinks no one is listenening. She refuses to think that I can make her happy because of all the assholes in the world, but deep down she knows I can satisify all of her needs. I know im not much but I just want to be enough for her. I want to prove to her that i can make her happy in a way no one else can. I want to wake up and fall asleep with her by my side instaead of rooms apart. I want to hold her at night and listen to her heartbeat and her small snoores during her sleep. I want to know how her day is going when no one is there to bother to ask. I need to protect her from anything that can hurt her. The only problem is she is too scared to let me into her life, and that's what scares me the most.

****

Its about three or four in the afternoon and all of the boys, Shay, and I got home and are started to bring everything inside. Shay is unsually quite on the way home.On the outside she seemed perfecty fine, but on the inside i can tell shes slowly drifting apart and it feels like theres nothing i can do to put her back together and show her how much i could take care of her.