Battle Scars ➳ Ashton Irwin || #Wattys 2016

Chapter Twenty

A/N: sorry for my lack of updates. I just got a lot of stuff going on and In a few weeks I will have exams and won't be able to post much but I will try my best to keep updating. also, I'm going to start doing a question of the day. So maybe I can get to know some of you and you guys can get to know me  I'm excited to write this chapter so if you like it make sure to vote for new updates!

qotd: what's your favorite 5sos song?
mine disconnected :-)

*Previous*

"I don't even know why I'm agreeing to this, but fine. I'll stay." She sniffled into my chest. I can't help but feel a big smile on my face. I haven't lost her. And I couldn't imagine what it would be like to lose the most precious thing on earth.

*present*

Ashton

I can't believe after everything I've done she still is here in my arms. I was waiting for her to burst out the door and never come back. She should. It would be never something I would ever want, but for her best interest I think it might be a good change for her.

"Can we go lay down," her voice is raspy and it still sounds sweet as always. We don't move from our spot and she still has a tight grip around my bare torso. I can feel her hot breath come in and out of her cute little nose.

"Alright," I breathe. I didn't want her to let go, knowing that it could be the last hug like that I'll ever get. She slowly released her grip around me. Her eyes were icy blue and watery. With every look she gives me it will always feel like the first time we met. And dear god I never want that to change.

* Shay's pov *

I follow Ashton to his bedroom and he lays down on top of the black duvet. He taps beside him, signaling me to lay next to him. I oblige to his signal and lay beside him.

"So about the story," he breaks the silence. "Would you like me to tell you?" He fluffs his hair with his hand and brings his attention back to me. I nod. And he starts to tells the story.

"This was about three or four years ago, me and the boys still lived in Sydney. I used to work at this really old record store. One day Clare came into the shop and she was looking for a James Morrison vinyl. And I just looked at her and thought that I knew she was the one for me. I could just tell, but little did I know I was wrong. We got to know eachother and the boys loved her as much as I did but more as a friend of course, but we went to go to a club one night, like always Mikey brought weed. we sat in the corner of the club and I went to go get drinks and the moment I came back she was gone. No one could find her. And to this day I don't even know where she is or where she went," Ashton let out a quite sigh. I wish I was able to understand that kind of pain but I've never have. All my types of pain are a lot different than that. "It doesn't matter anymore, I just get really sensitive about it. I'm sorry I yelled, Shay."

"It's okay." I say quietly.

"No," he says plainly. "No, it's not okay. You've been through so much, and me, the one who is supposed to be there for you, always, and help you though everything, was being an inconsiderate prick and yelled at you. I just wasn't thinking."

"Don't think of yourself like that!" I almost yell. I move my body closer to him and he rests his hand on my hip.

"How about I promise you something?" A smile lights up on his face and he looks into my eyes.

"And that is..?" I question.

"What if I promise you that I will do everything in my power, no matter what happens, to make sure that you'll always be okay? And I will never give up like everyone else." He rubs my back in small circles and still holds a cheeky smile on his face.

"You are already doing that," I smile and reach my small hand to touch his cheek. He cheeks were warm, probably from smiling so much. "We all make mistakes, just please don't yell, it really scares me." I pout.

"I promise."

When I was younger my parents always yelled, and when they got into fights they sometimes would become physical. My parents were never abusive towards me, but when they would scream and yell I would always hide under my deck in my room until the yelling stopped.

"So tell me something," Ashton whispered. "Tell me a funny story."

"Alright," I giggle and think of a story to tell. "When I was around two or three years old I used to carry around this blanket, I called it my pup, I used to carry it around so much it got dirty all the time and I wouldn't let my mom have it. So my aunt bought one just like it so I wouldn't cry when I didn't have it." It was a stupid story but I couldn't think of anything else. My brain was too tired to think too hard. I have enough things to worry about.

I look at ashton and his eyes were closed. The motions of his hands stiffed and his arm became heavy, draping over my side.

"Ashton?"

He didn't answer. He was asleep. I reached my hand farther up to his hair and brushed it out of his face, so it no longer hung over his eyes.

"Thank you, Ashton. For everything. I-" I pause. No I couldn't. It's too soon. I couldn't possibly love him. I'm just hurt, and there's no way I could manage to love someone by the way my life is right now. I just hope I will be able to tell him when it comes time.