Battle Scars ➳ Ashton Irwin || #Wattys 2016

Chapter Nineteen

~ previous~

I tap the door to Ashton's room two times lightly and not a sounds comes from the room. My heart is starting to pound. I had to get this over with.
I barge into the room. Ashton is writing in his journal. He looks up and smiles to me and says:

"I think it's about time we talked."

~Present~

"Yeah, I agree." I have to keep myself normal. I feel like I could throw up any minute. I've never been this nervous talking to Ashton. I messed up really bad. I just hope he won't stay mad at me.

"What is wrong with you?" He yells. I flinch at his words.

"Nothing!" I retort. "You're the one making a huge deal out of this!"

"You don't know what's good for you. You never have. In fact, you're just so broken and torn apart you can't even get your own life back on track!"
Ouch. I know I messed up but why is he saying all of this? I didn't think I deserved this.

"That's what you're here for,Ashton. I needed your help and you were helping me cope with all my problems! Now you're just being way out of line!" I can feel my anger start to rise.
Don't say anything bad. Don't do it. I say to myself over and over.

"I'm out of line? Really, because last time I checked you smoked weed with my three best friends! You wouldn't even have known them if it wasn't for me!"

"And if it wasn't for you I could be dead too. But hey, I guess I'm out of line." A tear slips down my cheek. "I came here to apologize." I cry. I can't take this anymore. I just need to get out of this stupid apartment before I explode. I take a good look at Ashton. My vision is burly, due to the large amount of tears. I was out Ashton's door without another word.

Ashton

What is wrong with me? I'm driving her away. I shouldn't have yelled at them. I know Shay just wanted a release, but I didn't want her to have one that way.

She bolts out the door. Do I dare to go after her? I need to, I fucked up big and I can't believe I said all of the things I did. I never meant them, and never would I ever mean them. My anger takes over every thought of my mind and I can't think straight.

"Shay!" I shout. "Please wait." before she could leave I grabbed her hand.
"Please, Shay just listen to me. Please." I beg "I never meant that I said. You know that. Shay, if it means anything to you now I will tell you everything. The whole story. I just don't want to lose you." Great, now I'm starting to tear up.

"Ashton, I just want to be alone right now." Shay wiggles her hand out of mine.
"Shay please, just don't go." I ignore what she said.

"Ashton-" I bring her close into my arms and hold her tight against my chest. She doesn't hug back. I don't blame her, I wouldn't want to hug an asshole like me either.

"Come back to my room and I'll tell you the whole thing. I can't lose you, not after everyone else I lost." I say into the top of her head.

"I don't even know why I'm agreeing to this, but fine. I'll stay." She sniffled into my chest. I can't help but feel a big smile on my face. I haven't lost her. And I couldn't imagine what it would be like to lose the most precious thing on earth.