TW: Suicide mentions
Pete's POV
I loved him. I really did. We got together so well. Or at least that's what I thought.
Yesterday marked our 2 years of being together. I was in LA and he was in Chicago. We called each other everyday since I got here.
We never missed a day. Yesterday he told me he wrote a song. I told him to sing it for me.
I cried. I cried because I knew who it was about. He sounded heartbroken. I broke hid heart and I didn't even know it. But I did.
I really did love him. One lyric that stuck out to me was, "Baby, come home." He repeated it over and over again.
I bought a plane ticket home after I got off the phone with him. When I got to his house the door was unlocked. I went to his room. His bathroom door was locked. I heard crying from in there. Before I went in I saw a note.
Pete
The song was about you. If you didn't catch on to that your just stupid. But do you really love me. Did you leave because you couldn't stand me. Because I was annoying. I would leave too. I'm happy you left because then you don't have to take care of me. I'm fine I promise.
I missed you a lot. Now your probably wondering why I'm crying in the bathroom. Well here's the thing. I made sure Andy and Joe didn't tell you. But that song was originally my suicide note. Check the top of my dresser.
Soon enough I found that note. Word for word. Patrick was on the other side of the door crying. I got his acoustic guitar. Put the words in front of me. I may not be able to get him out but I can sing to him. I put my chair against the door, my back facing the door as I sang.
I got those jet pack blues
Just like Judy
The kind that makes June feel like September
I'm the last one that you'll ever remember
I heard a sob come out from the other side of the door. It broke my heart but I kept going.
And I'm trying to find that peace of mind
Behind these two white highway lines
When the city goes silent
The ringing in my ears gets violent
He always told me that I made the ringing in his ears go away when I was with him. When we were together. When we talked. I knew he wrote that about me and our nights together.
She's in a long black coat tonight
Waiting for me in the downpour outside
She's singing "Baby come home" in a melody of tears
While the rhythm of the rain keeps time
I can imagine Patrick telling me to come home at 2am crying. He probably did that. That's what breaks my heart. I did this. I did this to him. And I'm not that sorry about it. Should I be?
And I remember "Baby, come home"
I remember "Baby, come home"
I remember "Baby, come home"
I remember "Baby, come home"
I'm home.
Did you ever love her? Do you know?
Or did you never want to be alone?
I didn't like being alone. I didn't like being away from My Patrick. He was mine. I loved him. The her must be him. He would refer to himself as she or her to make it seem like we were actually singing about girls on stage or on album but we were really singing about each other.
And she was singing "Baby, come home"
"Baby, come home"
I'm home, my prince and I'm never leaving your side again.
I've got those jet pack blues
Fight off the light tonight and just stay with me
Honey, don't you leave
I'm not leaving yet. I won't leave anymore.
Don't you remember how we used to split a drink?
It never mattered what it was
I think our hands were just that close
The sweetness never lasted, no
I heard the bathroom door unlock from behind me and I can here sniffles coming from behind me why I kept going.
She's in a long black coat tonight
Waiting for me in the downpour outside
She's singing "Baby come home" in a melody of tears
While the rhythm of the rain keeps time
I looked up to see Patrick in front of me. I kept playing and he sang.
And I remember "Baby, come home"
I remember "Baby, come home"
I remember "Baby, come home"
I remember "Baby, come home"
"Baby I'm home." I said to Patrick.
Did you ever love her? Do you know?
Or did you never want to be alone?
"I love you lunchbox." I said to Patrick.
And she was singing "Baby, come home"
I remember "Baby, come home"
"I'm never leaving again." I said to Patrick. We sang this part together.
She's in a long black coat tonight
Waiting for me in the downpour outside
She's singing "Baby come home" in a melody of tears
While the rhythm of the rain keeps time
And I remember "Baby, come home"
I remember "Baby, come home"
I remember "Baby, come home"
I remember "Baby, come home"
Did you ever love her? Do you know?
Or did you never want to be alone?
And she was singing "Baby, come home"
I remember "Baby, come home"
When we stopped Patrick looked at me. He took his guitar.
"Pete did you read the back of the suicide note?" I flip over the paper to see words I never thought I would see from him.
This is my goodbye, Pete. You are better with someone else. Someone who isn't me. Someone who isn't a mess. I don't want to live anymore. Goodbye and just know I love you, but I'm breaking up with you.
Please someone hate me for writing this. That fucking song makes me cry. It makes me sad as hell. Anyway this is really long and kinda sad. I'm sorry.
It's almost 1am and I'm not in a good place in my life right now but I'm gonna try to get better. Other than that I'm fine (kind of)
