"Hey Alanna I'm going to...the corner store"i lied,She nodded and continued making breakfast
As I walked I looked around me,i noticed how the mist was making it hard to see some of the houses and how my jeans were getting wet because of the splashes id make.
I reached my mothers doorsteps.
I opened the door.Inside it looked like a complete mess the walls were stained with alcohol and dents from bottles that were thrown at it.The couch ripped and beat up,glass lying on the muddy floor.
"Who is it?"I heard a groggy voice say
I followed the voice upstairs,it lead me to my old room.
"Me,mother" I said rather softly
She dropped what I assumed to be a picture on the bed,she stared at the wall and never once looked at me.
"Mom ...could you please look at me"I said she slowly turned her head around.Her eyes met mine and I could help but let my eyes wonder to the bruises on her face.
I rushed to her side and kneeled Infront of her,I turned her head from side to side "M-mom what happened"I shakily said,"My boyfriend"she said softly,she touched her chest and started to breath heavely
"You've always sang beautiful..sing to me"she whispered as she twirled my hair
"Huh?"I said completely confused
"Sing"she whispered
I wiped the tears out of my eyes and began to sing a song
"If you'll be my star
I'll be your sky
You can hide underneath me and come out at night
When I turn jet black
And you show off your light
I live to let you shine
I live to let you shine
But you can skyrocket away from me
And never come back if you find another galaxy
Far from here with more room to fly
Just leave me your stardust to remember you by"my voice cracked at the end
My hand that was entwined with her tightened,she smiled softly and closed her eyes
"If you'll be my boat
I'll be your sea
A depth of pure blue just to probe curiosity
Ebbing and flowing
And pushed by a breeze
I live to make you free
I live to make you free" I continued
I stopped when i saw that her chest stop rising up and down
"I love you" I said and kissed her forehead
I got up and dried the tears away,I burried my hands in the pockets of my hoodie and I walked back home.
Once I arrived I ignored everybody's gaze,my eyes were probably bloodshot from all the crying.
I had called the ambulance before my mother was about to die so they should be there...
My mother,id never thought she actually loved me,i loved her that's for sure,but she loving me?that was surprising....id never imagined the scene we just had a couple minutes ago....never
Had I thought this would happen.
I sat on my bed and looked straights ahead,i don't know what exactly was I looking at.Air I guess.. it's all I really have.
I stood up and walked over to my jours,I looked through them trying to find something,i looked through the cabinets dropping everything.
I found the container which contained some sleeping pills,i kissed the bottle
"Kaitlyn what's wrong- Kaitlin What the hell?"i heard someone at the door yell,Calum looked at me confused.He ran over to me and through the container on the floors making all the pills spill.
"What the fuck did you do"i yelled,i ran my hands through my hair and fell to the ground.
"You see those pills there...they will take me to my wonderland,I'll be happy and free ..." I licked my dry lips "they are my freedom" I finished and wiped the tears that were now falling down my face
"Your sick"
"Aren't we all?"
"No.Your stupid and selfish,you only care about yourself,what about us? Don't you care about how we will feel afterwards? Look at Sky she is our daughter but I think she connects to you even more"he said and I looked out the window not wanting to meet his eyes.
"I'm not happy"
I walked outside and noticed it was raining.I splashed a couple puddles.
I walked to the nearest park and I sat on the easiest tree I could climb.
I pulled out the cardboard box of cigarettes,I took a cigarette And put it in the wet part of my
Lips.
I blew some smoke rings and just a couple puffs,before I saw Calum walking towards me,i tapped the end of the cigarette on the tree branch turning it off.
"Kaitlin what's wrong?"he asked me
I breathed heavily "My mother... My mother she said she loved me and just ...you know left me here in this horrible place we call earth.I can't do it anymore"i said and let the tears fall out
"Kaitlin...your mother always loved you and...she just going to watch over you like your dad and sister are...you still have your brother and grandmother...you have us and Sky.We all love you very much"he said,i smiled and kissed his cheek
"Thank you"I climbed down and started to make my way back home
"I love you"i heard him whisper or so I think I'm not very sure.
When I arrived home I just sat in my room and stared at the awfully white boring color that was painted on my walls.
"Black is a happy color....white is just depressing"i whispered and laid back down.
*************
IM SO SORRY IF ITS SHORT AND FOR NOT UPDATING LIKE I SAID IVE BEEN SAD AND
DEPRESSED LATELY AND I JUST HAD TO GET AWAY FROM EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE FOR AWHILE ...WELL I LOVE YOU ALL AND IM SORRY IF THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU Were EXPECTING LOVE YOU
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(1•12•15 E.R) :(
