Before Anything Else (Absinthe Series 2)

Kabanata 18

Kabanata 18

Before Anything Else

I couldn't sleep for the past nights knowing that I'll wake up with the same thoughts again. I would find myself in the vast ocean of lights looking for enough luminescence to clear my thoughts.

No one would ever understand how I feel. The every veins of my body shouts for freedom as I've seen myself being trap in an illusion that I was free. Walang makakapagsabi sa tao kung kailan sila malaya sapagka't ang totoo ay nakukulong tayo sa ilusyon.

No one would ever understand how we feel because in the first place they thought we were just okay even if it's not. Hindi natin maiintindihan ang lahat pwera nalang kung magsisimula tayong magising sa katotohanan ng mundo.

We were free, unless we feel like we were.

I was another curious bird who flew up high and was caught up in a chain brought by cruel hunters.Sa muli ay nakulong ako sa ilusyon na ako ay malayang pipili sa kung anuman ang gusto ko. Once I've been given a chance, it was just limited.

It caused me to wonder how many times do I have to do things for someone else first before myself?

Kailan ko uunahin ang sarili ko?

Who would ever put me first before anything else?

For the next day, Eion occupied me with outdoor dates. Dahil peak season, maraming pasyalang mapupuntahan. Saglit na nawala ang pangamba ko sa lahat dahil sa mga nagawa ni Eion. Although he was busy with the band, he finds time to fill me in his schedule. Ngayong kinuha na sila ng isang talent manager, he has to manage his time well lalong lalo na at malaki ang tsansang mas sumikat sila sa industriya ng musika.

Sino ba namang hindi mamamangha sa kanila?

They were all handsome and not to mention came from influential families! Akala ko ay nagbibiro lamang si Eion nang sabihin niya iyon ngunit talagang totoo nga. They were rich and yet they did not use their influence just to be famous. Idinaan nila ang lahat sa paggawa ng magandang musika at puspusang page-ensayo.

" Aside from playing guitar, what else do you like to do?" I asked him when we lay in the hood of his car.

We were on a open field, yung una naming napuntahan noon. There's not much of the stars but the darkness of the night amazes me. Ang kalayuan ng mga bituin, ang pagkakalapit ng iisa sa kanila sa buwan. May ibang Pilipino na naniniwalang kapag may magkalapit na buwan at bituin, ibig sabihin noon ay may magkasintahang magtatanan. Funny how it sounds though.

" Gym? I guess." we both chuckled and we stared at each other.

Tipid akong ngumiti at ipinasyal ang mga mata sa kabuuan ng kaniyang mukha. His blue eyes shimmered in the darkness of the night as they smiled at me.

" That explains the muscles?" I whispered.

" Yeah." he said and fell flat on his back. Umisod ako at humiga sa kaniyang dibdib. I felt his arms on me and he held me tighter. His warmth spread immediately and I felt warmer than ever before.

Pumikit ako at pinakinggan ang himig ng kaniyang dibdib. Every thump, I felt him tightened his hold on me. Pakiramdam ko'y ayaw niya akong bitawan sa mga oras na ito at ayaw ko rin. Ayaw ko ring mawala'y sa kaniya kahit sandali dahil nararamdaman kong mas protektado ako sa yakap ni Eion. I felt safe with him and I felt loved.

Pakiramdam na kailangan ko sa mga oras na ito.

" You? What else does my baby like aside from being a prude?" aniya at mahinang natawa.

Ngumuso ako at pabirong hinampas ang kaniyang dibdib. He yelped. I don't know if he ever felt pained but I guess he just did that.

" I am not a prude." I approached. " Hmm, I guess I like to clean my bedroom?" I chuckled.