Before Anything Else (Absinthe Series 2)

Kabanata 20

Kabanata 20

Before Anything Else

The twenty fourth of December came and as usual busy ang buong kabahayan nina Abuelo para sa Noche Buena. Higit pa roon, we're all waiting for my parents' arrival. Nagkataong maraming delayed flights kaya eksaktong alas diyes ng gabi ay dadating sila.

Everyone had been busy cooking and arranging things. Ang mga pinsan ko ay abala sa kanilang mga regalo na ang iba ay hindi pa naibabalot. I've been helping Ava in wrapping her gifts, syempre, ang sa akin ay nauna na niyang maibalot kaya hindi ako nag-alinlangang tumulong. Meanwhile, Avi was done with her gifts and now helping Dridge with his gifts. Parehong nasa kabilang kwarto ang dalawa at hindi na lumabas roon mula kanina. I wonder if things are going on smoothly. Malimit na kasi silang nag-aaway simula nung nakipagsuntukan si Dridge sa bar. Maybe they had a truce, I wouldn't know but I am happy that they're both fine.

" Do you think Avi will like this one?" Ava asked as she held a make up kit with a label 'smashbox cosmetics'.

" Yeah of course, she will. Mukhang mahal iyan sa mga usual mong binibili sa kaniya." komento ko.

" Hmm, I've seen her kits and then I've done my research. Ito yung kulang sa kaniya." she giggled. Inabot ko sa kaniya ang Christmas card upang malagyan na niya ng pangalan ang paper bag. Ava said she changed the paper bag so that Avi wouldn't know what her gift would be.

Bandang ala-una ng hapon ay natapos na kaming lahat. The boys are downstairs, probably playing with some of our girl cousins were in the other room. Si Avi ay tulog na tulog sa kwarto nina Dridge, siguro ay napagod sa pagbabalot ng regalo at sa pangungulit ng iba pa naming pinsan.

Ava and I were on the bed and laying on our backs. Parehong  nakatingala sa kisame at malalim ang isip.

" I know it's not my position to say this Forah but how will you tell Tita Circe about your relationship with Eion Callaghan? Alam kong ayaw mong kalabanin si Tita but what will happen after this? Tita Circe could be manipulative and destructive at times. Alam naming lahat iyon and I was just concern about your situation. Now that Faigel was into this, I am torn in between." Ava confessed. Naramdaman ko ang kaniyang paggalaw patagilid upang ako ay maharap. I stayed rooted on what I was staring at, too afraid to falter.

Banayad ang aking paghinga habang dinadama ko sa aking tiyan ang init ng aking kamay na nakapatong doon. I looked like Mary Magdalene that was on her tomb, unmoving like a dead body.

" You don't have to be, Ava. Mahirap din namang pumili pero sundin mo ang sinong gugustuhin mong sundin. Kung alam mo kung sino ang tama, doon ka lulugar..." huminga ako nang malalim bago siya nilingon.

" It felt like everything is crumbling down, you know. Faigel, Mom, Eion and Myself. I don't know what to choose. Faigel is our cousin, I love my mother and I am falling for Eion. In between those choices, I couldn't label myself."

It never cross my mind that doing everything for the people you love is easy. Hindi ko nasabing madali dahil maraming pagpipiliang gawin. It's either you do everything for them or do everything for yourself. Palaging may masasabi ang tao kapag inuuna ng isa ang sarili nila. People would label one person as selfish, arrogant, egocentric and self-centered. Yet, they don't know the whole story of a person choosing his own happiness than other's happiness. Hindi nila alam na sa bawat pagpiling mahalin ang sarili, ay may nakatagong masakit na kuwento. Masalimuot ang mundo at napupuno ng kasakiman at kasamaan that's why the perfect refuge is ourselves. Tayo lang ang may mahigit na karapatang mahalin ang sarili natin and yet, we let people ruin us; making us hate ourselves in a spiteful way.

Sa mundo ng pagpipilian, kadalasang pinipili ng mga taong uhaw sa atensyong may halong pagmamahal ay ang mga taong nais nilang mahalin sila. They work too much for that attention they're craving for that they forgot how to love themselves.