OCEANS | shirbert

XII. The Deep End

A/N - Hi, don't play the song until I tell you to :) I love you all, thanks for the votes and the comments!

CHAPTER XII

The Deep End

in which a red-headed girl experiences the beggining of the end

Two weeks after the second "carrots" incident

Anne had almost got back to normal after Matthew's death. It had been a month and she was trying to get used to her routine: going to school, helping Marilla with the house, teaching Jerry how to read and write, attending the story club with Diana and Ruby, practising every school subject with Gilbert...

She was sitting on the floor of the now empty classroom. The boys were enjoying lunch break outside, and the girls –including her friends– were outside too, enjoying an oddly warm February morning. The school boys from Avonlea were gathered together under a tree. Gilbert Blythe was there too, something that was quite surprising since he usually spent breaks with his nose stuck on some medicine book.

She stood up and silently made her way towards the window, looking out of it and spotting her friends near the water stream. They were probably gossiping and laughing at absurd things, as always. Anne exhaled dramatically, wishing to be able to laugh in such an unpreocuppied way like she did before.

Yes, she had gotten over Matthew's death. More or less. She had assumed that he was gone and nothing could ever possibly bring him back. However, her soul was... darker, tired. She was not the cheerful, extremely talkative girl she used to be.

Maybe I have finally matured, she thought, as she looked out of the window, watching her friends enjoying themselves under the burning sun. Maybe this was the way I am supposed to be. Silent, serene, restrained.

Thinking about how she did not recognise herself anymore, she thought about how she missed her old self. She had not had the guts to be Princess Cordelia over this past month, which had gone by so slowly yet so fast at the same time. Anne felt as if she had lost track of time; everything that had happened in her life after Matthew Cuthbert left this world felt blurry and imprecise.

I don't think anyone has noticed that there is something wrong with me, she thought. She had told her friends that she wanted to stay indoors during lunch breaks because she wanted to revise every school subject. It was not an excuse, partly, considering that her grades were going downhill.

She was immersed in her own thoughts when she noticed that her bosom friend was waving at her from where she was sitting outside. Anne waved back timidly, provoking a worried smile that crept in Diana's face. There was still time left of lunch break, but Diana and Ruby got up from the circle of girls and walked up to the schoolhouse. Anne went back to her desk as quick as she could, trying not to worry her friends.

"I honestly can't wait for next Winter Ball!" a very excited Ruby Gillis exclaimed as she abruptly opened the schoolhouse's doors, quickly startling Anne.

The red-headed girl knew, of course, about the upcoming Winter Soirée that was being held withing a few weeks for St Valentine's day; she could not care less. Truth is it seemed appealing due to the romantic nature of the event, but considering how things were in her life at the moment... she was not feeling thrilled for some idiotic dance.