The New "Guy"? (RvB Fanfiction)

Hello, yes, Were are you?

After I land I start brushing the dust off me then suddenly something or someone land on top of me

"Ow."

"Grif get you fatass off me!"

Simmons landing gracefully behind us "Tada!"

"Ugh, you didn't have to push." Grif says standing up

"Yeah thanks a lot for that...jerk." I tell him

"Yeah I didn't have to, but it sure was fun. I got a cool screenshot from my visor of you flailing too. Guess who has a new desktop wallpaper... This guy!" Simmons turns and calls Sarge "Come in Sarge, are you there?"

"Hello, is that you Simmons?" We hear Sarge's voice come over the radio "Shut up, Donut."

"Wait Donut, Donut's with you Sarge is he alright?" I asked

"Price is that you."

"Yes Sarge it's me, now is Donut ok?"

"Why are you with Simmons you traitorous blue" Sarge hissed

I roll my eyes "Technically sir I'm not a blue or red team member.

"Sarge, we're down in the cave with you. Are you okay? Please tell me you're okay." Simmons asked

"Fine. What's your location?" He asked Simmons "Shut up!" He then says I'm guessing to Donut

"We're looking for you right now, this place is huge! Grif is with us and we're up on top of some kind of peninsular outcropping."

"Euh, you're on top o' Grif's what?" Sarge asks then shouts "Donut, I told you to be quiet!"

"No, we're on a peninsular ledge trying to find you."

"Roger that, I've got Donut. You sit tight and we'll find you."

"Roger that. Simmons out."

"Dude, what was all that stuff about your penis rule."

After that we standing around waiting.

"I heard something that time," Grif asked

"You didn't hear anything," Simmons tells him

"Grif everything's fine. Clam down well ya."

"There, did you guys hear that?" Grif asked resuming his panics

"Yes, I heard water dripping."

"Sounds like bats!" Grif shouts

"Bats, aren't made of liquid. Bats don't drip."

"Bat-water!"

"There are no bats!"

"You don't know, what if you're wrong?"

"Okay, idiot, let's assume I'm wrong. Let's assume there are bats. So what? You're wearing state-of-the-art, biomechanical body armor. It's designed to deflect bullets and absorb explosions. What can a five-ounce flying rodent possibly do?"

"...So basically you're saying that you think there's bats."

"Sure, why not."

"I'm getting the fuck outta here."

"No you're not, Grif, we're standing right here. I told Sarge we wouldn't move, and we're not moving."

"At least let's go stand by the light."

"No, that would be moving, and thus would violate our strict "no moving" policy."

"But the light-"

"No."

"would help us see the bats!"

"NO."

"And their fangs!"

"NO!"

"Hey, you know what else might be in the cave, Simmons? Snakes."

"You're an asshole Grif, why would you bring up snakes?"

"I'm just saying. I know you don't like snakes, and snakes do live in caves, and we are in a cave, and snakes like to crawl right up next to people in caves, and then they-"

"Alright, screw it, I'm gonna go stand by the light."

I shake my head following them to the light

"Sarge should be able to see us here, right?"

"Yeah, who cares. Hey, Simmons, I was thinking, if we're in a cave, why are there lights down here?"

"That's a pretty good point..." (slowly) "Grif..."

"What the- are you okay?"

I turn to Simmons to see who has been shot with a spike.

Simmons says slowly "Yeah, why do you ask?"

"Huh, you got a pink thing on you."

"Yeah, are you ok?"

Simmons says slowly "Wha? Like a snake? Get it off..."Simmons collapses

"Simmons? ...Huh? ...Ow!" I say just before I collapsed and blackout