"PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON! What's the one thing I told you? Don't embarrass the family!" Grif shouts
"I don't think she's embarrassing -whoa, why is she doing splits?"
"Huh, is this that Facebook thing I keep hearing about?"
"Is she done yet?" I asks closing my eyes
I didn't know humans could bend like that. Price don't you want to study this
Hell, no I may be a medic but that doesn't mean i freely want to stare at someone naked thank you very much.
Alright, alright no need to snap at me. Just asked.
"Ohhh, look, she's puttin' her armor back on. Uh, I mean, oh look, she is putting her armor back on. Good work Soldier!"
"Don't patronize me."
"Thank God." I sigh opening my eyes
The screen changes to the top of blue base
"It looks like the Blues are having some kind of meeting."
"What? I knew it. They're coming to attack our base. Dirty backstabbers."
"I thought the Blues were supposed to attack us?" Donut asked
"Dirty frontstabbers! Simmons, what're they saying?"
"I have no idea. I can't find the volume on this monitor. And without any sound it just looks like a bunch of helmets bobbing up and down."
"Is that how they talk? They look ridiculous."
After A little while we see the blues come to red base
"Look they're invading our base! And we're not even there to defend it. Oh the humiliation! Men, this aggression cannot stand. We'll beat those Blues all the way back across the canyon. This is the moment we've all been training for!"
"Training? We haven't done any training. Wait, is sleep considered training?"
"How would that be training Grif?".
"Simmons, as with all our battle plans, I need you to punch Grif in the back of the head. Simmons? Simmons!" Sarge shouts to Simmons
"Uh huh, yeah, I agree. Everything you say is right, Red Team's great... hooray." Simmons answers staring at the srceen
"Simmons, stop watching those T.V.s." Sarge yells at him
"Yeah, Simmons, give it up. There's not gonna be any more pictures of naked girls on there."
"Shut up, you don't know that. Stop saying that. He doesn't know what he's talking about."
I shake my head "Dude this is so sad."
"Men, this won't be easy. The Blues will be totally bunkered down. At both bases, which gives them an enormous strategic advantage! But we're the Red Team."
A flag comes out of nowhere behind Sarge, and someone starts singing
"Sure, you might not be the best squad... might not be smart... or energetic, or have any skills that qualify you for duty in any other legitimately recognized military unit. However-"
"Where did that flag come from?" Donut asks
"Flag, who gives a fuck about the flag? How about who's singing?" Grif looks around
"Yeah, This is so weird."
"But with precise operations, and proper communication, we will emerge victorious! With a little luck, one of us in particular will die a horrible death! Either at the hands of the Blues, or as part of a cunning distraction by yours truly." Sage Finnish his speech
The singing stops when sarge stopped talking
"Why don't we just take over Blue Base?" Simmons asks looking at us
"Nonsense! At Blue Base they're much more fortified. Blue Base has turrets. Blue Base has a tank!"
"Blue Base has no one in it."
"What?"
Simmons point to the screen "Look, see? They're all gone."
"Where'd they go?"
"They went to Red Base. That's what we've been talking about."
"But which one of these caves leads to the Blue Base? I'm all turned around down here."
"I have an idea." Donut walks off
We follow Donut until we're standing over two Blue corpses.
"See, these are dead Blues." Donut points to the bodies
"Yes, Donut, we're all very happy about the corpses. Sicko."
"No, Don't you get it? When they buried you, you fell down here. When the Blues buried these two guys, they fell in too."
"I thought the Blues had three dead guys."
I look from the body to the ceiling "Oh I see So that must means, we're standing right underneath Blue Base. Good job Donut."
"Exactly, now all we need to do is head up, and take 'em from behind."
"Cavernous conundrum, he's right! Let's go, men. We'll grab their base while they capture ours! On to glorious victory!"
"Technically that's not victory. It's more like a stalemate."
"On to equilibrium, then?"
Simmons shurgs "Yeah, that'll work."
"Huhh, this war sucks."
YOU ARE READING
The New "Guy"? (RvB Fanfiction)
FanfictionAfter Grif was hurt by the blues tank, the reds called a medic to help him. But to their surprise the new guy isn't a guy but a girl. What will they do now? Underline words are price's thoughts and underlined and bolded are of a character to be nam...
