My Life In Months [EDITING]

VII

Nas

'No it's not! But it's just not fair! Not fair!'

'What? What isn't fair?' She asked calmly.

'It's not fair. It isn't fair. IT'S. JUST. NOT. FAIR.'

'Please tell me' she moved closer and placed a hand on my cheek. 'Please'

'I.....' My voice went cold. This wasn't just me being sad. It was my absolute truth, the mask has fallen off. All that brave front I've been putting on has dissolved, it was just me.

'Life is unfair! I learnt that a long time ago but i didn't really feel the impact of it's unfairness until the day i met you.' I stopped to look at her expression.

'You make me whole! I had no feelings before, i was alone, content, miserable. But then i was diagnosed with cancer and i thought i had lost it all. Lost it all....'

'Then i saw you, i met you, i love you. I felt.....invincible! Unstoppable! Cancer in my mind became as trivial as a cough.'

'I had hope. You gave me hope. You are my hope. I fight everyday for you. To be with you. To have you. You are my everything.'

'I think about the future with you. A little funny don't you think? A dying man planning the future? It's comic-like. But i still do.'

I looked straight into her eyes and dropped all guards to let her see into my soul. To see everything. To feel everything. To know everything.

She hugged me with all her might and said 'Tell me about that future you think about'

'I see us in the suburbs, living in a medium sized house where our kids will be born and grow up!'

'How many kids?' She looked up with a smile.

A smile that puts the sun to shame and the moon to exile.

'As many as you want!' I smiled back.

'Three. Two boys and a girl.' She whispered.

'Done. I want to give you all that and more. I want to be there for all the births holding your hand while you call me ungodly names. I want to snuggle at night and watch those chick flicks with you, i want all that but....'

'No buts...' She cups my cheek.

Silence.

More silence.

'Let me ask you this. Are you sure about what you just said?'

'Yes!' I answered without hesitation.

'Then we're not going to give up. Both of us! We'll have that future. Let's have that future!'

That moment the fire inside me was reignited again. I wanted to live again. I had the will to live again.

We would not give up!