Your My Dream (BoyxBoy)

Your My Dream (BoyxBoy) 31

*Jessie's POV*

I get up, detaching myself from my bed. Gray light pours in from my window, and I hear the wind wipping around feircly outside. Little dots of rain splatter against bmy roof, giving me a pitter patter sound track as I gaze around wistfully.  

So much of my things, my true nessisitys, are packed up, already on their way through storm clouds, bound for new york. I can see them now, in my minds eye. The images are to sad to look at, everything associated with gloom. So I remind myself that I'm on my way to see Vanessa and Tristan. 

Feeling oddly insecure I do my bet to make myself utterly presentable. As I move around my room, putting on clothes I figured I'd leave here, I notice an air of emptynesss, like my clastorphobic room can tell I'm not coming back for it today. 

Just as I'm about to head out the door, into the rain that has steadily grown from a pitter-patter to a full on downpour I notice a black pencil like object lying on my floor. I retreive it, smiling with dark humour as I realise what it is. I roll the eyeliner between my fingers. 

"Why the hell not" I say outloud. 

A few minute's and a couple make-up remover pads later, I'm admiring how the black beneath my tear-line make's the blue in my eye's seem incredible. I look good with eyeliner. To think, I used to get dizzied by the simple thought of make-up exposing me. Then there was Tristan.... 

Yes, Tristans done a lot for me in our short time together. Drew me from the closet, pushed me to face my family, brought out things in me I'd never even thought to look for. To think, it all started with a black shirt, a to hot sun, and a fellow fag getting bullied. My love story. Cute. 

Eyeliner applied, hair appropriately messy , teeth brushed (I'm expecting a douzy of a goodbye kiss) and clothes smoothed, there's nothing but goodbye's to come. I slowly head out into the hall, running my fingers against the wall, saying my own personal goodbye to the house that sheltered my childhood. 

Down the stairs that I once fell down and broke my leg, through the kitchen that my mom nagged me about not eating enough in each morning, into the living room where I see Kelseys back-long blond hair flowing off her shoulder. She's sobbing quitly, sitting huddled against mom. Ryan seems untouched by any of this, and continoue's watching whatever kiddie show flashes across the T.V. Kelso stands to the side, tears gleaming in his eye's, but acting to 'tough guy' to let them fall. 

I join Kelsey and mom on the couch. Kelsey doesn't acknolege me, to busy pouring fontains of liqiud from her eye's, but Ryan give's me the 'Whats-going-on look, and Kelso nods in reconization. Mom reaches out and touches my face gently for a moment, before continuing to tend to Kelsey. 

After twenty minutes of our small family huddling in the living room, eager for comfot that's not there, I clear my throat. "Mom? I'm going to go... Say my goodbye's." I already feel that all to farmilliar squeze in my lungs, telling me to cry.I swallowed, suppressing the urge. 

"Okay" my mom says distantly. Kelso trails me to the door, but stops there. I don't look back at him as I exsit the only house that'll ever be home. I keep my gaze steadily forward, a good attitude to keep. Just look straight ahead Jessie. Straight ahead. 

But because I'm gay, and all concept of straight feels funny to me, I glance back every now and then. This route is so familiar. The one I took home from school and to Vanessa' house form the very start. I blink back the tears that never seemed to have left. 

I stand at the end of the driveway, just staring at the house for a long while. Then I brave myself into walking at an reluctant pace towards the front door. I toucht eh coool metal of the doorknob, but it opens from the other side first.