Mr Hook's Big Black Box

«Separation»

"I never really got that," Kris looked around the room, "I mean, how you got the Box out. You abandoned that van in a field, there were uniforms everywhere. That's the CIA I guess. So how did you get the Box out? A superstore trolley would be no good on those dirt roads."

"You weren't paying attention," Destinee grinned, "The Box wasn't in the van. We already hid it somewhere nobody would ever think of looking."

"You did?" Ferrari seemed just as confused, "I thought they just ditched it under a hedge, right before the chopper came down. Buried the damn thing, and prayed the agents would assume you passed it off somewhere, and wouldn't come looking with ground-penetrating radar."

"No, this plan was pure genius," Dwayne grinned, "I knew Spenser wouldn't figure it out, but I thought you might have noticed, Kris. For all the practical jokes I've run over the years, all the RTS tournaments, all the brilliant strategies, nothing quite compares to this one crowning moment of awesome."

"Enough grandstanding," Marco poked Dwayne in the back with a pencil, pulling off quite an elaborate set of hand gestures to pantomime deflating the primadonna's ego. "Get on with–"

"Ow!" Dwayne yelled, "Has that been on the desk here for fifteen years? I could get infected with anything! You shouldn't poke people with unsanitary objects."

"No, it's been in my pocket."

"That's even worse!"

"Come on guys," Ferrari interrupted, "Enough horseplay. Get on with the story. You going to tell it, Dwayne? I'm half expecting Marco's version to be more accurate for once, without such an ego behind it."

"What's horse play?" Destinee whispered to Kris, amused by the high-energy antics of the other three. After an hour or more of storytelling, they seemed to have recaptured the atmosphere of the meetings of old, and that came with a feeling of nostalgia even for Destinee, who had no memories of them.

"Like, a real-life version of slapstick, I guess. Boys playing at showing they're the alpha male."

"I thought that was foreplay?" she grinned, and not for the first time Kris couldn't quite be sure if she was really that naïve or was deliberately teasing. Destinee was smart, he knew that, maybe even more intelligent than Monty had been. But her knowledge of affairs of the heart all came from poetry and from Japanese video games, so she might surprise him any day with either knowledge or lack of it in some peculiar niche.

"Same thing," Kris shrugged, then called out louder to be heard over Dwayne and Ferrari's banter, "Hey guys! Stop with the foreplay and let's get to the main event! The Box, right?"

"Yeah," Marco stepped back and dropped into his seat, ready to start his tale while Dwayne furrowed his brow in confusion at the non sequitur. He never quite got his words out, though, because at that point the door flew open and they were confronted by the statuesque figure of Clandestinia Raquel Darwin; Monty's imposing mother.

"Montgomery Jude Darwin!" she yelled, "I never thought I would hear such language! I could hear your tramp fiancé shouting from halfway down the corridor. What do you think you are doing, when you should be attending an important social milestone? I want to get to know the intelligent people you have met during your time at university, not see you hanging around with this bunch of reprobates. And that language, I have a good mind to call the whole thing off."

The tirade was delivered with such speed and volume that she actually had to pause for breath afterwards. Mrs Darwin was a large lady, and used to getting her own way.

"How did you get in here?" Dwayne was the first to respond, "It's supposed to be students and staff only." Then he looked past her, and saw the figure of a janitor standing apologetically in the hallway.

"I simply told them I was worried about my only daughter, who had gone off with a bunch of failed students to relive God knows what hedonistic pursuits of college life. And now I have found you, I am informed that _nobody_ should be up here, and from the state of this hellhole I can understand why. Can you believe this girl?" she seemed to be talking to the janitor now, reciting a list of the things she disapproved of, "I wanted to see her friends from college, just hoping there were some decent sorts among them. But no, she can't even stay in the ballroom. It was just the same with her wedding. I wanted the whole affair to be something traditional, something to earn a little respect from the other couples at the social club. But he wants to do something that will satisfy his family's business partners, and I don't have to tell you what that means, so they're hiring a whole little island, taking over the hotel, and the church, with dozens of staff, and you know who has to pay for on-call ferries to get everyone out there?"

"Me," Kris answered, "You wanted a big event to show off to all your old-money friends at the social club, but you didn't want to admit that you've been living beyond your means since before Monty was born. You've got your head in the clouds, Mrs Darwin. You can't even get Destinee's name right. And you call her your only daughter; I've heard you use those words at least twice tonight, and that doesn't make them true. If you're prepared to not speak to your firstborn because she disappointed you, if you're going to act like she doesn't even exist, then why are you still here, meddling in our business? You can call it off if you want, Mrs Darwin. You can disappear completely if you want, and you know what that would mean to me? One less mouth at the buffet table."

Kris paused for a long, deep breath. When he continued, he was laying down words like a poker champion showing his aces one by one; or a consummate professional loading bullets into a gun. He didn't shout, he didn't raise his voice at all. But just looking at his eyes was enough to tell Mrs Darwin that he was angry now, compressing all his disapproval until it turned into a force stronger than steel.

"I want to accommodate your opinions, Mrs Darwin, because doing so might make Destinee happier, and I will do anything for her. But if you cannot show even the slightest respect, I cannot sit silent any longer. If you really disapprove of her, and her friends, so wholeheartedly, then it would be very easy to organise matters so that you don't see us again. Your choice, Mrs Darwin."

She opened her mouth, and closed it again. With a couple of repetitions, she was doing an admirable impression of a puffer fish. There was nothing she could say, and she knew it. That didn't stop the janitor stepping nervously forward.

"Sorry, guys," he started, looking down at the keycard in his hands in the same way Mexican villagers in a certain class of western always seem to hold their hats when begging for help, "I can't let you stay up here. The place is sealed, health and safety. They'd have my job if they found out, you know?"

"Don't worry, Baz," Dwayne flashed a momentary smile, "We just wanted to see the old place. Got a bit carried away in reminiscences. We'll go back to the party like good little sheep now. Who knows, maybe Mrs Darwin would like to meet some of Kris's other friends. Weren't you in the opera society at one point? That sounds more like her kind of thing, she's certainly got the figure for it." Just like that, the reunion of Lanchester University Samurai Appreciation and Reenactment Society was over. They filed out of the Mendeleev Building, noticing the small amount of scaffolding on the roof visible from ground level, and went on to catch up with friends from their various courses, and other societies, and those who'd shared a kitchen and a few words in those long ago student days.

As college reunions went, they each decided individually, it had been pretty eventful. And some things were good to remember.