Adventurous Adventures of One Direction [script]

dude fuck one direction why they all so pretty i hate them

[NEW SCENE SHOWS APRIL AND HARRY IN A STORE, APRIL WITH HER FINGER ON HARRY'S LIPS]

April: Don't speak Harry. Don't speak. (she removes her finger)

Harry: But I'm crazy about you!

April: I know Harry. But I must order now. 

[THE CAMERA ZOOMS OUT AS APRIL TURNS AROUND AND WE SEE THEY ARE INSIDE A TACO SHOP]

April [to the Taco Cashier Dude Guy]: Three tacos please.

Taco Cashier Dude Guy: Hard or soft shell?

April [quiet gasp]: Oh. What do you think Harry?

Harry [ponders for a moment before speaking in words of wisdom]: Hard. A good shell is hard to find, and a hard shell is good to find.

April: Oh Harry, you always know what to say.

Harry: Hey, tacos are my favorite food!

FUN FACT - Harry's favorite food: tacos.

Harry: But you know, I've never been to a Taco Bell before.

[WE NOW KNOW THEY ARE INSIDE A TACO BELL. THANK YOU HAROLD]

April: You mean.. this is your first time?

Harry [nods]: Mhm.

April: Then.. you really must try the Nacho Bell Grande.

Harry: Well (turns to Taco Cashier Dude Guy) one Nacho Bell Grande please! Hey! What do you call a Bell Grande that isn't yours?

[APRIL STARES AT HIM]

Harry: Nacho Bell Grande!  :D

[SILENCE AS HARRY :D 'S AT HIS JOKE. APRIL STARES AT HIM FOR A BIT BEFORE KICKING HIM IN THE BALLS]

Harry [falls to the ground]: OO!

April [to Taco Cashier Dude Guy]: Can we get those tacos to go please? We have a date... At the Wrathosphere!

[SCENE FADES TO SHOW THE WRATHOSPHERE JUST ROLLIN ALONG BB]

Guard One [voice over]: So.

[SCENE SHOWS THE TWO GUARDS IN FRONT OF THE CONTROL ROOM, NIALL AND ZAYN STILL IN BRAS AND SKIRTS]

Guard One: You two from around here?

Niall: Oh, no. I'm from Ireland. And Zayn is from a wee little town in England called (slight pause) Dumbhairshire.

Zayn: Niall! I will slap you silly.

Niall: Bring it!

[ZAYN SLAPS NIALL, AND NIALL SLAPS ZAYN. AS THEY CONTINUE TO SLAP EACH OTHER (is that how sex works?), NIALL'S BRA FALLS OFF, FOLLOWED BY ZAYNS; THEN ZAYN'S SKIRT FALLS OFF, FOLLOWED BY NIALL'S, LEAVING THE TWO IN THEIR UNDERWEAR]

Guard One: Hey!

[NIALL AND ZAYN HAVE STOPPED SLAPPING EACH OTHER]

Niall: Uh oh. 

Guard Two: You're not cross dressers! You're just dressed up like cross dressers!

Niall: Uh, Zayn?

Zayn: Yeah Niall?

Niall: RUN! (Niall zoomy away)

[ZAYN FOLLOWS NIALL ZOOMY AWAY]

Guard One: Seize them!

[ZAYN IS RUNNING, AND WE SEE NIALL IN THE BACKGROUND IN AN ELEVATOR OF SORTS]

Niall [in said elevator of sorts]: Zayn, here! Let's take this elevator!

[ZAYN GETS IN THE ELEVATOR, THE GUARD JUST PEEKING AROUND THE CORNER. NIALL PRESSES THE BUTTON, AND THE FLOOR UNDERNEATH THE TWO BOYS OPENS AND THEY DROP DOWN]

Zayn and Niall: AAaaAAAAaAAaaaAoof!

[THE DOOR OF THE ELEVATOR CLOSES TO SHOW THE WORDS 'THANK YOU'. THE CAMERA PANS OUT TO SHOW A SIGN ABOVE THE ELEVATOR THAT READS 'GARBAGE CHUTE'. SO YEAH, NICE NIALL]