Adventurous Adventures of One Direction [script]

if 1d were immune to fiber that'd make them fiberproof (like fireproof. get it?)

[SCENE SHOWS NIALL AND ZAYN IN A GARBAGE CHUTE, WITH TONS OF TRASH (duh). A PILE OF TRASH IS ON THE RIGHT, AND A BOX WITH A PLATE ON IT IS ON THE LEFT]

Zayn: The garbage chute! Really wonderful idea. (sniffs and pinches nose) What an incredible smell you've discovered!

[PAUSE]

Niall: Don't be a c[BEEP]nt.

[ZAYN AND NIALL STARE AT EACH OTHER]

FUN FACT - Niall is Irish.

[NEW SCENE FROM OUTSIDE CONTROL ROOM. KEYBOARD TYPING IS HEARD. SCENE SWITCHES TO SHOW LIAM INSIDE THE CONTROL ROOM, TYPING AWAY ON A COMPUTER. WINDOW POPS UP ON MONITOR THAT SAYS 'WELCOME TO UNIX']

Liam: This is a Unix system. Oie know this. (begins typing furiously) I should be able to override the security system to open up the prison doors and let those pussycats loose.

[LIAM HITS THE ENTER BUTTOn, AND A WINDOW THAT SAYS 'ACCESS GRANTED' POPS UP ON THE MONITOR]

Liam: Yes! (types in 'open doors', and popup that says 'OPEN PRISON DOOR ARE YOU SURE?' pops up) Oh, I'll open that door like Donkey Kong 64. (hits ok)

[NEW SCENE SHOWS DETENTION BLOCK C, WHERE DOORS OPEN TO REVEAL CATS IN CELLS. SCENE THEN CUTS BACK TO LIAM]

Liam [into his watch]: Louis, Harry; the prison doors are open! It's up to you now to save the pussycats. And make it fast!

Guard 3 [cocking gun and pointing it at Liam's head]: Not so fast. You (to Guard 4) take pretty boy here down to the Torturitorium  for a nice acid bath. I'm sure Lord Faptaguise would enjoy seeing you burn alive to death. Take him away!

[GUARD 4 TAKES LIAM AWAY RIP IN PISS LIAM]

Guard 3 [to Guard 5]: And you! Close the prison doors.

Guard 5: Dude, this is a Unix system.  I don't know this.