Adventurous Adventures of One Direction [script]

oh worm? love me some one direction babey

[NEW SCENE SHOWS LIAM TIED UP HANGING FROM CRANE TYPE THING. AS CAMERA ZOOMS OUT, WE SEE SIGN THAT SAYS 'WELCOME TO THE TORURITORIUM' ON THE WALL. ONE GUARD (WHO WE'LL CALL GUARD 4) IS MANNING THE DEVICE THAT CAN LOWER LIAM INTO THE ACID BATH BELOW HIM. LORD FAPTAGUISE AND GUARD 6 ARE STANDING TO THE RIGHT, NEAR A GARBAGE DISPOSAL]

Lord Faptaguise: Well, if it isn't Liam.

Liam: It is.

Lord Faptaguise: Of One Direction!

Liam: It is Liam of One Direction. 

Lord Faptaguise: Well not for long!

Liam: Oh for long! And longer! You'll never dip me in a pit of acid Faptaguise. I have powerful friends!

Lord Faptaguise: Hah!

April [from out of camera]: You mean (camera pans to show her entering with Harry, who's hands are behind his back) like this one?

Liam: Harry!

Harry: Liam!

Lord Faptaguise: Well if it isn't Harry!

Liam and Harry: It is. 

Lord Faptaguise [walking to where April and Harry are standing]: Well done May.

Harry [looking at April, or, now as we know it, May]: May? I thought your name was June!

May: April.

Harry: Whatever!

May: Yes it's true. My name is May, and I am Lord Faptaguise's henchwoman sent to capture you.

Harry: You liar!

May: No I really do work for him.

Harry: No I don't mean you're lying right now I just mean, you know... generally.

May: Oh. Okay.

Harry: Okay.

Lord Faptaguise: Okay, (to Guard 6) tie him up and hang him from the ceiling as well. He and his friend can burn in the pit of acid together! Oh, but frisk him first make sure he doesn't - woahp, actually let me do it!

[LORD FAPTAGUISE GOES OVER TO HARRY AND FRISKS HIM, SOMEWHAT LAUGHING/CHUCKLING IN AMUSEMENT??? PLEASURE???]

Lord Faptaguise [as he's frisking Harry]: Mmm hehehum.

Liam [as Faptaguise is heard in the background frisking Harry]: Ohhh, Faptaguise! (shaking head to self) I just now got that.

Guard 6: Any weapons on him?

Lord Faptaguise [holding a taco and walking over to Guard 6]: No, just this taco. Dispose of this!

Guard 6: Yes m'lord! (takes taco from Lord Faptaguise)

May: But I bought that for him!

Lord Faptaguise: Shut up May no one likes you. 

May: Oh... I am now beginning to question my allegiance. I am a villain, but Harry is so sweet and Faptaguise is a total jerkface. (breath/gasp) I'm so confused!

[GUARD 6 PUTS THE TACO DOWN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL CHUTE]

Harry: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!