law of total madness - personal stuff

sixty four: :(

okay, so i keep seeing how cheap UNVEIL in Newark is and I'm still not allowed to go because my mom's being super annoying about literally everything. sometimes i really feel like she does things just to make me upset. she really doesn't understand how important these boys are to me. i think i'm going to tell my therapist something about this tomorrow, but i doubt she'll understand. like, stray kids legitimately saved my life, so it would mean so much for me to see them live, especially after all this chan stuff. i was lowkey excited that people were selling their tickets, because that meant i had another chance to see them, but my mom had to crush that dream as it formed. i'm still gonna try to get them, because the concert is literally 20 minutes from my house, and i already can't see monsta x, nct 127, or bts because of my mom, but i'm more okay with not seeing them, if i get to see stray kids. i literally love them so much it pains me. anxiety? play voices. heart break? play i am you. angry? play my pace. feeling badass? play victory song. depressed? play hellevator? and (tw) if i feel s*icidal, i always play grow up. every single song of theirs has so much meaning for me, and i would literally give my soul to see them. to give them my poem and my letter. for them to know that they saved me, and continue to do so every single moment of every single day, since october 12, 2017. ugh i love them so much and i would do anything for them... :(

-lynnie