My friend is a psychopath -Sunstreaker fanfiction-

• Chapter 9. Sit down

'Why don't you just sit down for a minute instead of walking around like that. You know me and you make me nervous.' I gazed at Ratchet. 'Sit.down.' I sighed, sitting down at the dinning table. He just passed by, probably because Optimus told him about what happened earlier. 'Talk to me,' he ordered. I shook my head and inhaled deeply. 'I just need your opinion. Do you think my mom will be okay?' I asked. Ratchet tapped with his fingers on the table. 'The truth,' I stated as he opened his mouth. 'I can't tell. I haven't seen her and I only hear stories from you,' he said. I buried my face in my hands for a moment. 'I miss him...'

Ratchet glanced at me. 'It's the only pain you're not able to take away. I don't blame you, you tried everything to save his life but I miss him. A lot.' I wiped some tears off my face. 'I know and I wish I was able to save but he was too far gone when he came in,' he said. I nodded, 'he wasn't in pain, right?' I asked. Ratchet shook his head. 'No, I gave him enough and he was worried about you,' he said. 'He even cracked a joke.'

A smile formed on my lips. 'He didn't want you to worry about him. He was strong because most soldiers would've died already. I had high hopes to save him. Before I put him under, he was scared. He asked me to look after you if something would go wrong. I assured him he would be okay but his injuries were worse than I thought when I opened him up. You can't keep doing this. You're overloading yourself with work. That won't bring him back. You've to move forward and cope with the pain. You're right, I can't take away that type of pain, but you can learn how to live with it in a good way.'

'I was mad... I was enraged and I killed him. I murdered him and I didn't feel any better. I just wanted to see him suffer... it's not part of the job to slaughter people but he took away my brother. I just feel like I am stuck and the memories... they hurt. I had a panic attack the other day. It was stupid but... Sunstreaker made me do target training and he said something and so many memories, bad memories, flew through my mind. Sunstreaker didn't understand it and I didn't want to tell him because I was embarrassed. What if that happens on the battlefield?'

'You have PTSD, and don't ask me how I know because I am your doctor... and friend. I know and recognize these things. It's normal after all the traumatic events that took place. You need to talk about it, with me or with Sunstreaker. After the accident, you haven't been fighting anymore and I want to keep it that way until you're strong enough to handle your fear and sadness a little better. You should talk to Sunstreaker about it though. He's a psychopath, he doesn't know a damn thing about emotions, but he does have a good spark beneath all that hate and anger. It seems like he has a weak spot for you and I am sure that once you fully won his spark, he will show you parts, he has never showed any of us. He will treat you the way, he treats his brother and that's special.' I sighed and looked away for a moment. 'Can you stay for dinner or do you have a surgery?' He shook his head. 'No, I can stay.' I nodded and got up.

That night, I couldn't sleep. I kept changing position and thinking about everything. Especially Sunstreaker kept crossing my mind the entire night. I just wish I didn't had to deal with it. Ratchet told me to go talk to Sunny, but he ignored everything I say. I kicked the sheets away and slid out of bed. This is horrible. I sat on the couch with a cup of hot tea and just stared at the black screen of the TV. I grabbed my phone as I saw a new message. Sunstreaker; 'shall I pick you up?'

I sighed and slumped back, texting him. 'No, thank you. I can walk.'  I texted back before slowly drinking my tea. I headed upstairs and looked at myself. It was obvious I had been crying the other day and it didn't matter how hard I tried to hide it with make-up, it was impossible. I guess I have to deal with it for today.
I headed downstairs, grabbed my boots and as I walked outside, I spotted a yellow Lamborghini. 'Before you start snapping at me, I was just passing. It's not a lie. I was on a patrol, so...' he trailed off. I locked the door and walked up to him. 'You're unbelievable.' He shrugged and smirked a little, throwing the keys of his Lamborghini in the air repeatedly. 'Well, throwing yourself in front of Optimus's alt-mode is quite concerning, don't you think?' He asked. 'Look, Sunstreaker... I am going to be honest with you... when I got here, I liked how it was going. My schedule... my team and you messed everything up. Optimus said I had to be clear because you don't understand subtle so... I quit.'

He frowned. 'You quit?'
I nodded. 'Yes, I quit. So now I can just move on with my life. Normally, without concerning about everything. With all due respect, I am honored you wanted to train me and you're helping us out but this is too much. My life is a complete mess and I just can't do this right now.'

'I am not sending you into the battlefield. We can train, let me teach you. I know I can teach you a lot but you need to trust me. I don't feel like you trust me right now.' I sighed and crossed my arms. 'You're a serial killer... how many did you kill this month? Fifty?' I asked. He gave me a look. 'Look, I don't think this will work out and I've told you before that this isn't what I want. You're not my twin, you're not human and you got to move on with your own life.'

Sunstreaker crossed his arms. 'You're the one who needs to move on, not me. Just for the record, you can't just quit because you just started and it doesn't mean you get back what you have. You're still living in the past and it won't bring you anywhere,' he stated. I snorted, 'says the one who's twin is still alive!' I snapped. He exhaled slowly. 'I am still your boss,' he added crankily. 'Ah, I see... well, I am flying to San Diego next week... sir,' I mocked the last word. He grabbed my arm. 'We are going to the base, get in.'

It wasn't a question. He was serious and I was pressing his buttons. 'You're doing it again. You're ignoring what I've to say. I though you said communication is important in this job.' I yanked my arm back. 'It is, but you're the one who's not listening to yourself,' he stated. 'What do you mean,' I scoffed. Sunstreaker hopped in. 'Get in the car, Skylla.' I hopped in and buckled up.