Silver Roses [h.f-t. & j.l.] (ON HOLD)

Chapter 4 - Broken Hearts Club

gnash - broken hearts club

"A phrase just keeps repeating in my head 'you need to leave, you need to leave, you need to leave.' And I have all these justifications to leave, but the place I would be going back to holds so many bad memories. And I have all these reasons to stay, but I also don't want to do that either. So I don't know what I'm doing or where I'm going, but damn is it giving me the worst headache."

hero

I haven't slept as bad as I did that night in a while and it made me wish I still had the lorazepam that I got after my mum died. It wasn't even bad dreaming, I felt so shaken up and angry and all I wanted was to board the next plane back to London and get away from this place as quick as possible.

My aunt had knocked on my door once about 20 minutes after our fight but didn't come in when I didn't answer. I was glad she didn't. It wouldnt have ended well.

I gave up on getting any sleep at around 5 AM, rolling over to grab my phone from the night table next to the bed. I had to squint my eyes when the bright light hit my eyes and before I could overthink it I tapped my dads' number and rolled on my back, closing my eyes while I waited for him to pick up.

I almost give up when his deep voice answers.

"Hero, what's wrong?" he asks, his voice sounding rushed and I sigh.

"Why does anything have to be wrong, maybe I just want to talk to you like a normal son wants to talk to his father." I say, not able to hide the sarcasm in my voice and he sighs.

"I don't have time for this right now." He says.

"I want to come home." I say quietly hoping he understood what I said so I didn't have to say it again.

"What? What do you mean you want to come home, you have been there for merely two weeks." He says and I bite the inside of my cheek, hard, before answering him.

"I just don't think this makes any sense." I say.

"Give me your aunt. I'll talk to her." he says and I sigh.

"It's 5 AM here, dad." I say.

"Well, I'll call her tomorrow. Tomorrow for me I mean." He answers, growing impatient.

"Why do you have to talk to her?" I snap and now it was his time to sigh. I could hear other voices in the background, calling his name.

"Because you're not telling me what you did-"

"What I did? Fuck, dad maybe I just had enough. Maybe I just want to go back to London." He never cares, why now?

"Hero." He warns and I realized it was a mistake to call him.

"Fine. Forget I called." I snap, pressing the red button on my screen, hanging up on him just when he starts talking again. I wait for a couple more minutes to see if he calls back and when doesn't decide to search for a flight back home myself. When I see that there's not one under 1000 Australian dollars I groan in frustration and toss my phone next to me on the bed, pulling the blanket back over my head.

Later that day I wait until I hear my aunt closing the front door, meaning she left to open Mari's before I get out my room. When I enter the kitchen I see that she left me scrambled eggs in a pan. I stare at it for a few moments before grabbing the pan and throwing it in the sink, suddenly not feeling like eating anymore.

I had half a mind to just not go to work but if I wanted to fly back to England I needed the money since my dad was clearly not going to pay for a plane ticket. It went like this for the next week or so. I ignored my aunt completely besides following her instructions in the cafe and she left me alone, not talking to me outside of Mari's. I also tried to talk as little as possible to others, just not in the mood.