Silver Roses [h.f-t. & j.l.] (ON HOLD)

Chapter 9 - Feels Like Letting Go

feels like letting go - matthew perryman jones

There's something wrong in my heart right now. I feel you in it but my body refuses to connect my feelings to my head, confusing and torturing me. Nothing is going the way it's meant too. Remind me, how is it meant to be?

hero

Waking up the next morning reminded what I hated most about getting drunk. The feeling that your head was going to explode. I groaned as I sat up, running my hands over my face with an unbelievable thirst for some cold water. Wen was not in the tent anymore, telling me the most likely already got up.

Grabbing my phone from beside I could see the time read 11:26AM and all I wanted was to lay back down to get another couple hours of sleep. But the sound of laughing ringing outside the tent made me sigh and forced me to forget my plans of getting some more sleep.

"Good morning!" I was greeted with a way too happy and awake Josephine coming towards me with a bottle of water in her hand.

"You okay?" She asks me when I silently take it from her. I remember us sitting by the beach early this morning even though it all felt pretty much like a dream. I think I told her about the kiss with Lizzy which was pretty much the only thing very clear in my head after I pushed Ricky but as much as I tried I didn't know how she reacted to it. Did I want her to react to it? Of course, I do. No, I don't. I can't.

"Yeah." I say quietly and she gives me a puzzled look, opening her mouth to speak again but she gets cut off when her cousin comes walking towards us. She wore huge sunglasses and had her hair in a messy bun on her head.

"Guys, the others all agreed that we're going home today instead of tomorrow because, well.." She says, gesturing behind us to Wen, Ricky and Kit sitting on the ground with their heads in their hands, looking as miserable as I felt.

"What is with you? You look so alive." She says, turning to Jo who laughs lightly.

"Because I know when to stop, Viv." She says and Vivien rolls her eyes.

"Hey, where's Eliza?" I ask, noticing that she's not around us. I pretended to look around, feeling Jo's eyes on me.

"She started loading the boat, that girl knows how to party. I don't know how things are rolling in America but she handles that hangover pretty well." She says before grabbing Jo's arm. 

"Come on, if you're feeling so good you can help me pick up the bottles." She says dragging her away from where we were standing. I met Jo's eyes for a second but quickly looked away. "And Hero, start packing the tents, will you? Ricky will help!" Vivien calls over her shoulder and I sigh, turning on my heel and taking a huge gulp from the water bottle before tossing it next to the tent I slept in to dismantle it.

"Need help?" I hear a voice behind me after about 10 minutes and I'm almost tempted to ignore him but instead shake my head.

"I'm almost halfway done, it's fine." I answer dryly.

"I know a trick or two to get it down faster, dude just-" Ricky says and I swirl around to him. 

"What do you want from me?" I ask him, taking a step towards him. He's tall but not as tall as me and he raises his arms with a chuckle.

"Chill out, mate. I just want to help you with the tent." He says and I scoff, shaking my head. 

"Listen, I don't like you. And you don't like me. We can't avoid each other but that doesn't mean we have to talk. Understood? I say through my teeth and he clenches his jaw.