Silver Roses [h.f-t. & j.l.] (ON HOLD)

Chapter 5 - Let Me Breathe

let me breathe - the hours

She's one of those girls who doesn't know what she's doing, but she wants to know everything will be worth it one day. She isn't amazing at one thing, just good at a lot of things, and that's all she'll ever be. She wishes she could be different, but she lives her life to the fullest anyway. All she truly needs is love to keep her sane. She looks at her world like it's a book, with pages being read every day. She's her own worst enemy and hardest critic. She knows she has flaws and tries to accept them, even though she knows she never fully will. More than anything, though, she just wants to make a difference one day, and she wants someone to remember her name.

hero

I keep repeating the events of the last hour in my head. My talk with Josephine- Jo and how easy it was to open up to her. I think I spoke more about my mum to her than to my dad or sister in the last months. Also what my had aunt said kept ringing in my head as I stepped into the shower, turning the water as hot as my skin was able to tolerate.

I'm not going anywhere.

These were the words that struck me the most. They were just words for her. Trying to remind me that even though I was thousands of miles away from home, that I had someone here who cared. Or maybe she just said what she thought I wanted to hear from her.

I'm not going anywhere.

I heard these words years ago. I heard them from my mum after what happened with my brother.

I'm not going anywhere.

I heard these words months ago. I heard them from my dad after what happened with my mum.

I'm not going anywhere.

Where are they now?

I took a deep breath as the hot water from above hits my face, burning on my skin and just stood there until I felt my finger start to crinkle from being in contact with water for too long. After stepping out of the shower I use my hand to wipe the steam from the big mirror. I looked different. In the 3 weeks I have been here I started to gain a little more color on my face and my hair was the tiniest bit lighter from the sun. I also had a bit of redness on and around my nose. It reminded me of when I first saw Jo since that was one of the first things I noticed about her. I never had any freckles but if my sister would be here right now she would complain about hers coming out, covering her whole face.

I had to smile as I remembered her fighting with mum about it when we were in Greece years and years ago. My dad had stood in the doorframe with me and we were shaking our heads at them, me mirroring him crossing his arms and pretending I wasn't just 10 years old.

The faint sound of my phone going off brought me back to reality and I shook my head to get rid of the memories in my head, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around my waist. I push my wet hair from my face as I walked in my room, grabbing my phone from where it was laying on the bed. The time read almost half past 6 now.

I had a message from Jo on Instagram and as she promised earlier it was her number with a little smiley at the end. I would probably smile at it if I weren't so confused. I went from not feeling anything towards her at all, at least I think to I wasn't, to somehow opening up to her and feeling safe around her in a matter of hours. What confused me the most was the intensity of the feeling I had when she was around. I couldn't explain it if anyone asked but it was a heaviness around my heart in a completely different way that I felt before. It was more of a comfortable heaviness that made me feel steady.

I stare at the message for a second longer before tossing my phone next to me on the bed and getting up to throw on a new shirt and some boxers. After pulling the white shirt over my head I plop down on the bed and grab my phone again, copying the number to save it under my contact, pressing the call button right afterward. I chew on my lip as I listen to the line ringing.