WHAT DOES IT EVEN MEAN?
It's horribly ironic that an addiction
Rehab center is named Suncloud Health.
Have you ever seen a deer brave enough
To jump in front of speeding traffic?
It's eyes go wide and the animal reacts in terror,
Trying to avoid the certain death that awaits it.
That's how it feels to enter Suncloud
Health for the very first time.
When you come to the realization
That maybe this eating disorder thing
Is controlling your life, and you want help,
It overwhelms the entire mind.
The addiction feeds on your life-force,
Begging you not to go because "you're fine, just fine."
Seeing other people on different tracks and different places
In recovery when you feel that recovery
Is simply a made-up word used to lull hopeful addicts
To sleep when their world is crashing down around them
Is like participating in a marathon that you haven't trained for.
You look at the impossible task that awaits you
And wonder where the starting line really is.
How does one even start?
In the interactions with other people,
You're met with an optimism that has
Been absent for so long that it feels like a stranger,
And it adds to that confusion.
Will I ever get to that optimistic place?
Did everyone feel this way at first?
YOU ARE READING
Picking Up The Pieces
PoetryAn anthology of poems written by me. The uploads will be in 2 parts. The Before is part 1, and The During and The After will be part 2. This is the story of my recovery from PTSD, An Eating Disorder, and Sexual Assault.
