The Coven [Cadie/Fillie]

»Feels By The River«

She sat by the edge of the river with a cigarette between her fingers, smoking her pain away. Lilia had been crying for almost an hour and a half while Sadie was right there beside her, smoking pot and listening. "You should have talked to someone." The red head told the sad blonde. Lilia breathed out some smoke as she stared at the moving river. It was moving rapidly and it was also pretty noisy for where they were sitting, but it helped with awkward silences. "Talked to someone about my crush?" The goth girl questioned before looking up at her friend. Sadie felt that now was a good time to talk about Lilia's self harming.

The red head held her marijuana cigarette in her right hand and grabbed Lilia's wrist with her left. The blonde tensed up a bit having Sadie touching her arm. "I know that you've been hurting yourself, Lils." Tears start to form in both of their eyes. Sadie bit her bottom lip and tried to lift up the blonde's sleeve with her thumb as she continued. "I saw you yesterday after you ran out of the cafeteria. I wanted to confront you about it, but I was so scared and I didn't know what to say or do." The red head began to sob now while Lilia just stares down at the ground with a blank face and tears slowly rolling down her cheeks.

"I-..." Her words were caught up in her throat and she struggled to breath through her nose. The blonde took one last puff from her cigarette before tossing it into the river and drying her eyes. Lilia took one deep breath before she turned her whole body to face Sadie. "I was stupid to do that." "But you kept doing it." "I know, Sadie, and I regret it. Do you think I want my arms to look like this? Do you think I want scars and bruises all over me?" The red head grabbed her friends hands and looked into her eyes as she sniffled. She leaned forward to speak to her. "I only know one thing...why you did it."

Her words made Lilia's tears appear again. It broke her heart to think of why she cut herself. She also felt horrible for making people that she loves a reason to do such a thing because it actually isn't their fault. It's her own fault, she's the one who decided to do this to her body. Sadie threw her blunt in the river and wiped her tears away before tucking her legs underneath her, facing Lilia. She laced her fingers with the girls and held their hands under her chin. "I love you, you know that. I've known you for my whole life, remember? We're sisters." The blonde flashed a small smile at the red head and nodded. "I know this, Sadie. I love you too. I'm sorry if this is all unsettling to you."

Sadie shook her head and kissed the top of Lilia's hands before letting go of her and placing the blonde's palm over her heart. "I wish you would have talked about this rather than cut." Lilia took a deep breath and let out a low chuckle as she shook her head. "Me too, but I was scared of what someone would think. It's almost incest to like Millie and I didn't want to seem like such a hoe for having feelings for Jaeden while I was with Maddie." "You're not a hoe, you're human. You didn't give into your desires and I really don't see you liking Millie as incest, you two aren't related."

Sadie had a point, but it seems like incest to Lilia because her and Millie grew up together and were raised by the same person and even consider each other as family. Of course when you think of incest you think of people who share the same blood and DNA and family. Millie is Lilia's family. Lilia never really knew her blood family, she was given to Winona when she was a baby because her mom was too scared to raise a witch. Sure her mom visits for a week once a year, but that's it. That's all she gets and that's all of the actual family she knows.

"I don't know why I love her, it's so stupid. Having feelings is stupid. Why do I have them?" Lilia spat and muttered as she pulled her hand away from Sadie and looked back at the river. The red head moves closer to her. "Having feelings is what makes you a human. Would you rather be a robot?" "I'd rather be a cold hearted and bitter hag like my mother." The blonde stated before pulling her juul pod out of her pocket. Sadie hates cigarettes, everything about them. The look, the smell, even how they make the air taste. Even the trees hate it, that tell her that all of the time. Unfortunately for Sadie, she can't get her sister to stop smoking.

"If you were like your mother then you would never be happy. You wouldn't love us and wouldn't accept our love making you feel lonely and miserable. You have to have feelings in order to be happy." Lilia rolled her eyes and groaned. "Why are you so smart?" The red head smiled and leaned her head on the girls shoulder. They look at the rushing water in silence, enjoying each other's company for a while. Then Sadie spoke up again. "I bet you didn't know that I had a small crush on you when I was thirteen."

The blonde girl was shocked to hear about this. She didn't even know how to accept this information that was given to her. "What? Really?" She was in disbelief. Of course Lilia knew that Sadie was pansexual, but she had no idea that she liked her at some point in their lives. The red head nods softly, her head still on Lilia's shoulder. "That's why I was always so hyper around you. I didn't know what to do with my feelings, you were my first crush and I didn't even realize it was a crush until Noni talked to me-" "Wait, Noni knew that you had a crush on me?" Sadie sat up straight now. "Yeah, it was obvious. I was so eccentric, my face was really red, I always wanted to be around you and touch you."

Looking back at those times, Lilia had realized that it was true. Sadie liked Lilia. Now the blonde had some questions. Does Sadie still like her? If not, then what made her change her mind? How did she get over Lilia? Could Sadie help Lilia get over Millie and Jaeden? "No I don't like you anymore, at least not in that way. And yes, I can help you get over Millie and Jaeden, though Jaeden might be tough because I've only met him once." Sadie answered those questions for her. Lilia was confused, but didn't think much of it. "Let's just go home now, it's getting pretty dark out."

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I wrote this extra long chapter because it is really late where I am and I don't know if I'll even update next week so just enjoy this chapter.

Also I love the dynamic between Lilia and Sadie like CAN I get a HELL YES🔮