17. Filler

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Thursday.
October 21st, 2013
1:23 AM

Nyla B.

 "After all, it's your word against a federal agent's

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"After all, it's your word against a federal agent's. By the time I'm done with you, you won't even remember the face of your mother, your father, your children, and whoever else the fuck you love, for solitary confinement will be all that's left of your memory. Get on board or get on board." Chino frowned up and pointed his finger in my face, "bitch, fuck you! You really expect for me to lie to him? You clearly didn't do your research because if you did you'd know this man has been my side just as I've been by his for over two decades. I'll kill with him and I'll die with him. I'm telling him," he started to walk out of the utility closet.

I turned around, facing his back."One phone call," I said, halting his steps. "One phone call and I'll have you arrested for the murder of Salvador. You recognize my face and I now recognize your voice. You were the one who called and told Elijah that Salvador was being extradited. Elijah may hate me for lying to him, but he'll hate you more after learning you cooperated with the feds against him, concocting a plan to disguise yourself as 'the brothers' to bring this legally untouchable, powerful brotha' to his knees in hopes of immunity for Salvador's murder. Believe me when I say I'll dress it up and make it real for him."

He whipped his head around to me, a scowl spread across his face. If looks could kill, I'd be dead. "What do you think is going to come from this? Hm," he raised his eyebrows. "You think this nigga is just gon' run off into the sunset with you once he finds out you've been playing him this entire time?" I looked at him and pushed down the lump that had formed inside of my throat, "I don't know. That's a bridge that I'm willing to walk on broken glass and hot stones just to make it across to the other side. To make it to him. I do love him, Chino." He chuckled, "nah, my boy loves you. I could see it in the way he held you close, proud to introduce you like he has a goddamn trophy. You ain't shit! Once this is over with stay the fuck away from him. It's only the family over here and you'll never be apart of that."

"You tipsy?" Elijah asked. I couldn't do anything but nod my head against the headrest and smile as I held my closed fist against my lips. I'd taken four shots back to back tonight and because I'm such a light weight when it comes to hard liquor, I wasn't surprised that I was feeling lifted nor wearing it on my face. With everything that had taken place in the utility closet with Chino and the dirty glares I could feel coming from him, I needed an inhibitor in order to be able to get through the night. Not because of Chino, but because of the choices that I had made tonight.

Extorting Chino into keeping my identity away from Elijah hurt me for more reasons than one. I'm so emotionally and spiritually invested in a man whose last name I could see myself taking, despite him not knowing mine, that I stooped to a sickening level I never thought I could. I threatened to use my position as law enforcement against a black man who has to worry about law enforcement every single day. Not because of his illegal activity, but because of the involuntary choice of having rich, black, 'intimidating' melanin covering him from head to toe.

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