Naruto: Short Stories

Forgetting Him [Uchiha Shisui] Modern | English

You said you've forgotten him
Yet you still waiting for his reply

23.2.2019 | 8.56PM

Recent time; introduction.

Shisui used to be my good friend. He's not my best friend, but still he's a good friend.

We share the same interest in books, foods, and we can talk about random things for hours. It feels like just a few minutes but actually we've spent 2 hours talking to each other.

I know that you're already knew; I ended up falling for him.

At first, I was so afraid that we were too close and I enjoyed his company. It's different than what I felt with my senior and my best friend, Genma.

I tried to deny my feelings, but the more I crashed it, the more I like him. Time flies and without realizing it, I fall so hard for him.

until one day, I know the harsh truth
and I unveiled the blindfold that close my eyes all this time.

I'll force myself to erase my feelings for him.

⚫

Flashback; why is it hard for me to hold back my feelings.

We're in the different class since I took social major and he took language. So I can live my life without worrying about my (a bit) obvious behavior around him.

What makes it useless is our class are side-by-side, and he likes to play guitar on the bench near his class' door. So basically, we always see each other everyday.

Whenever I want to throw a trash or if I want to go to the toilet, he always calls my name. One day, I used my earphones and threw my trash quickly, when he called me I pretended that I listening to the music. Actually, i didn't even played the music.

It's just one of many days that I pretend to be busy, or not seeing him so I can avoid him. I have a principle that if I interact with him as minimum as possible, my feelings will disappear and we can be a normal friends again. Without one of us has a feeling for the other.

It turns out bad. I think, he thinks that I hate him. That he did a mistake that makes me avoid him. Well the last thing is right, except the reason I did it is not because "hate". In fact, I love him. I just don't want to ruin our friendship that have been years.

Usually, there's no day without him chatting with me. Even the weirdest thing can be the topic of our chat. Now, I barely look at his instagram. I won't look at his instastory unless I accidentally see it after someone's.

⚫

Flashback; our interaction lately.

Since secondary school, we always study together for exam. In high school, because we already have our own majors, we are "specialized" in that. A month before exam week, I teach him history and economy while he teaches me our first language and English, of course. Now, we don't.

Well we still talk to each other and chatting when we have something important to ask or talk about,but other than that we don't joke around so often anymore. But something that I can't deny; I'm still waiting for him sending me message first.

I try to avoid him slowly, believe me I've tried. But someone always knows when their friends are avoiding them. It's just human nature, we want to be noticed all the time. So it's pretty easy to figure out that someone's avoiding you.

⚫

Recent time; finally I let him go.

It has been some months, and I feel I've forgotten him.

Of course I miss the old us, but things are changing for the better. You can't expect everything will be the same way after years. Everything changes, and so are you--without you realizing it.

I've changed too. After those fucking hurtful days, I can make a peace with my heart.

I realized that I was blind because of love--that I saw as a comfortable company he gave me.
I realized that even he enjoyed our times together, he just sees me as one of his pals.
I realized the little pangs in my heart everytime they're together are real.
I realized my assumption was and is true.

My phone rang. Without realizing it, I look at my notification bar. Starbucks just offered me a promo.

Shit, I thought it was a message from him.

Dear my stupid self,
why did you let yourself fell for him?
such an idiot decision, you silly.
There's no cure for love.