«If this was meant for me, why does it hurt so much? And if you're not made for me, why did we fall in love?»
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The keys almost slipped out of her hands the moment she set her sight on Eden leaning against his car pretty much parked in front of her house. He was already looking at her, expecting for her to approach him, so even if Jenna wanted to turn around and walk away, she wouldn't have been able to do it. This was exactly what she wanted to avoid, and what she had avoided years ago.
Eden pulled away from his car and started to walk towards Jenna at the same time she made her way in his direction. "Why are you avoiding me?" The question came out of his mouth as soon as both were close enough to each other.
Her heart sank. Did she want to do this all over again? "That's not what I am doing." It was exactly what she was doing. It took her days to realize that it didn't matter how much they tried; it was never going to be the same. So, was it truly worthy?
"It's exactly what you're doing, and I would like to know the reason." Something had happened when they were at his house the other day. He didn't need to be a genius to put two and two together. "Talk to me."
It was so much easier to pretend like she could ignore everything about Eden that could affect her perspective of their relationship. Jenna took a deep breath, trying to avoid his intense glare. She completely failed as his eyes kept finding hers.
She opened her mouth, hesitating for a second. "I'm going back to Lille. Next week." The decision had to be taken. Aside from doubting almost every day if she could carry all the weight that came with Eden, Jenna couldn't keep ignoring the fact that she had a life and responsibilities elsewhere.
"But you will be back?" He sounded almost hopeful.
Jenna shook her head. "Much like you do here, my entire life is there Eden. I live there, I work there, my friends are in Lille." She could have all that in London, Jenna was aware of it. Isaac pretty much had begged her to stay in England, offering to help her with finding a job.
"So was that the reason you were avoiding me? What was your plan? Go back to Lille and send a DM on Instagram telling me you were no longer in London?" Now that the words were out of Eden's mouth, Jenna realized how incredibly stupid every single part of that plan sounded.
For someone who preached to be smart enough, she did not act like it. "Not like that. I was going to tell you." Jenna lied. She didn't plan on telling him that she had to go back to Lille, or that she was doing it so soon.
Eden seemed unaffected by her words, in fact, his features relaxed. A smile spread across his face, and he reached for her hand. Jenna looked around; her neighbors could be quite nosy most of the time.
With his free hand, Eden grabbed her face, turning her attention to him. "There's no need to avoid me because of that. I understand, and even if I didn't, it's your choice to go back. All I can do is to try to make it work with you." Then it hit her.
He had no idea that she planned on running away from him again. Eden wanted things to work out between them so bad he had forgotten that perhaps Jenna still had her doubts regarding the whole thing. It was so messed up, especially for her, to know that while he tried as hard as he could to keep things where they were, she was planning on leaving him to justify her own insecurities.
"You wouldn't break up with me?" Eden tilted his head, slightly frowning at her question. It was a bit insulting.
"It's almost like you don't remember I've been in love with you for years, Jenna. Why would I do that?" He expected her to smile, or something, but instead Jenna just looked down, avoiding his gaze one more time. Eden swallowed hard, fully understanding what was going on with her. "Is that what you want?"
