IN MY DREAMS [ krii7y ]

ᥴhᥲρtᥱr tᥱᥒ

john just couldn't calm jaren down, they'd driven back to the motel and he hadn't stopped crying the entire time. john was panicking, he couldn't bare to see his best friend like this. it pained him, his heart aching as he watched the brunette boy curl up, hidden by the blankets.

john sighed, sitting next to jaren and wrapping his arms around the boy's waist. "hey, milk boy," john whispered, moving jaren onto his lap with the blankets.

jaren said nothing, the room in an eerie silence as john waited for the boy to respond. instead, the brunette just hid in john's chest, letting out a soft sniffle and wiping his eyes.

john bit his lip, running his hand through the brunette hair atop jaren's head, sighing and setting his finger under jaren's chin.

jaren didn't even look up at the gentle touch, just nuzzling into john's hand.

john smiled slightly, lifting jaren's head and connecting their lips.

and it didn't take long to stop jaren's sobs after that, clothes littering the floor and thoughts of flowers and blood evaporating from jaren's mind. 

🌸

jaren's head rested gently against john's bare chest, the blond sound asleep in the motel bed. thoughts of flowers, and blood, and hurt mother's ran wild in jaren's head. he huffed, leaning up a bit and slipping out of john's hold. he slowly got dressed, making sure to stay quiet so he didn't wake john up, grabbing his phone and walking into the bathroom.

jaren smith was determined to figure out why he was coughing up flowers.

he hummed, turning his phone on and opening safari. he bit his lip, thinking about what he could possibly look up to figure out what was going on. he furrowed his eyebrows, his fingers flying across the screen.

'coughing up flowers'

he read the sentence three times, nodding and pressing enter, he waited for the page to load. he shifted when article after article came up talking about 'hanahaki disease'.

hospital beds and doctors were bouncing around in jaren's head, he didn't want to have a disease, this couldn't possibly it.

look into it.

the voice in his head nagged, the brunette biting his lip and clicking on the first article.

'the hanahaki disease is an illness born from one-sided love, where the patient throws up/coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. the infection can be removed through surgery, but all feelings for the person disappear along with the petals. ex: when you see the person you formally loved, you would feel nothing at all.'

one-sided love
illness
flower petals
surgery

those words repeated in jaren's head until they felt funny, he tried to say them, but they got caught in his throat. he didn't want to believe that john didn't really love him. he couldn't believe that john didn't really love him. sure, jaren may have said that john didn't love him...but never in a million years would jaren have guessed he was right.

and never in a million years would jaren have guessed that john had known about what was happening to jaren. but then again, he also didn't want to lie to himself. why else would john keep apologizing whenever jaren coughed up lilies?

jaren stared at the bathroom door in disbelief, scoffing and looking back down at the article. he was determined to figure out everything john hadn't told him.

'the disease can also be terminated when the person you love passes away, or returns your feelings.'

jaren's jaw dropped, letting out a slightly pained sound as he let his phone fall to the floor. john had just fucked him, and he didn't even love jaren. jaren thought the two were at least still friends, but he didn't feel as if he knew anything about john, now.

so why do i still love him?

jaren sniffled slightly, blinking back tears and grabbing his phone. "john keyes, you bastard." he whispered, wiping his nose and continuing to read the article.

'the disease is rare and does not happen in every case of a one-sided love, however, there are three known stages of the disease.

stage one: coughing up petals in pieces. the petals are usually from the favorite flower of the person you love, but they sometimes differ.stage two: coughing up full petals. the petals will not change in each stage, just changing how they are coughed up. (pieces, full, etc.)stage three: coughing up entire flowers, with blood. this stage is when the patient usually gets desperate-'

jaren stopped reading there, sniffling again and staring at the screen for a moment. "why would people get desperate?" he whispered, furrowing his eyebrows. "it's just a bit of blood-" he paused, seeing fatal on the screen. he quickly scrolled down to the sentence, feeling his breath get caught in his throat.

'the disease can be fatal if the person does not return the patient's feelings after the patient reaches the third stage and/or pass away during the patient's third stage.'

~ s o n g ; m y  s t r a n g e  a d d i c t i o n -
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