IN MY DREAMS [ krii7y ]

ᥴhᥲρtᥱr tᥕo

jaren jumped into john's arms as soon as the boy arrived at the front doors of the school. "hey, milk boy," john chuckled, kissing jaren's forehead softly. "what's wrong?" he questioned quickly when he noticed the panicked look on jaren's face.

"j-john-" jaren breathed out, looking up at the man he loved so dearly. "john- i coughed up, they were fucking lilies!"

john's face fell, slowly looking at jaren. he tried to pretend like he hadn't just realized what was happening, "that- that isn't normal."

"really? i had NO idea!" jaren quipped, glaring at his boyfriend.

"sorry, sorry, it- you don't really know how to, uh, respond..when someone tells you they're coughing up their favorite flower." john was panicking. he didn't want jaren to die, and he didn't want the boy to have to know that john doesn't love him. 

break his heart, he'll stop loving you.
genius. 

john shifted, setting jaren down and frowning slightly, brushing the boys hair back. "hey, petal?"

jaren looked up quickly, petal. that never came with good news. petal came with bad news, petal came when john didn't want jaren to be upset.

john sighed, holding jaren's hand gently. "we gotta talk, petal."

jaren's face fell, shifting and shaking his head, "i-"

"let me speak, petal, please." john pleaded, "we gotta talk, is that okay?"

jaren stared up at john, nodding slowly as he bit his lip.

"good, thank you." john nodded, leaning up a bit. "i-uh, i don't know how to word this..exacty. i- i just, i have some stuff going on right now." 

jaren shifted, relaxing slightly. 

he just needs to vent.

"and i don't think i can balance everything that's going on and a relationship." john continued, the voice of the boy that smelled of nicotine and strawberries slowly fading out until jaren was watching john's lips move without any sound.

nono- please. this isn't how this is supposed to go! we're- we're supposed to get married, and be happy, and-and have kids. we're supposed to..we're supposed to be happy.

"jaren?" john questioned, looking down at the boy.

we're supposed to be like a fairy tale, princey, a fairy tale

"jaren?" john asked again, snapping his fingers in front of jaren's face.

don't do this.

jaren's thoughts were racing around his mind, bouncing off each other and smacking him in the process. and then it all stopped...when john pulled away from jaren, "jaren? hellooo? did you hear me?"

jaren blinked slightly, shifting, "i-i- n-no..'m sorry, w-what?"

"i said i think we should take a break." john repeated, biting the inside of his cheek.

take a break.

the words repeated in jaren's head until they sounded funny, jaren biting his tongue so hard that he thought he tasted a little bit of blood. he tried to make sure it wasn't obvious that he was falling apart just a little bit each time the words repeated as he slowly nodded his head. "ye-yeah." he stuttered out, sniffling slightly and staring up at john. "yeah, i- i think we should too." jaren whispered, walking away from john quickly.

john sighed, running a hand through his hair as he watched jaren walk away. "it's for the best, milk boy, for the best."

💐

jaren sat at the lunch table the next day, staring at the wood aimlessly. "hi, jaren!" lui chirped, his voice adorably childish.

"hi, lui." jaren whispered, looking up at his innocent friend. "i want you to promise me something, alright?" 

lui nodded quickly, holding out his pinkie. "pinkie promise."

jaren gave a soft smile, nodding slightly and locking their pinkies. "promise me you won't rush into any relationships, especially if you think the other person doesn't love you."

lui furrowed his eyebrows, wondering where that had come from. the childish boy didn't question it, however, just nodding quickly. "i promise!" 

jaren smiled slightly as he saw david walking over. "get with someone like david, lui."

lui blushed slightly, giggling and turning to his food. "m'kay!" he nodded quickly.

david sat down, raising an eyebrow at lui's blush and jaren's tear stained cheeks, "what in the hell happened to you, first off?" he sighed, turning to jaren slightly. 

jaren laughed bitterly, shaking his head and picking at his food. "i'd rather not talk about it, pretty emb-" jaren stopped, coughing slightly and grabbing a napkin from david. fortunately, david was already talking to lui, so the boy didn't notice as jaren coughed lily petals into the napkin.

"lilies." jaren whispered, lui and david not noticing as jaren crumpled the napkin up, throwing it on his tray.

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