IN MY DREAMS [ krii7y ]

ᥴhᥲρtᥱr ᥱᥣᥱvᥱᥒ

jaren smith had decided that he wasn't going to die in front of john. he had read the entire article, and a few others, after he had seen the line about the disease being fatal. if the articles were correct, he would have one more day until he was dead.

so, as john went home to get changed and ready for school, jaren wrote a note.

he huffed, putting the note in john's backpack, he knew that john would have to come back because the boy had forgotten the bag. and he wanted john to see the note.

he bit his lip anxiously, waiting patiently until his mother arrived at the motel, he gave her a soft smile as he stood. "mom?" he asked gently, knowing that she would freak out the moment he said the next sentence.

"hm?" his mother hummed, looking up at him.

"can you take me to the hospital?" and, just as jaren had predicted, his mother's face fell as she rushed towards her son.

"oh, honey, are you alright?" she whispered quickly, lifting his head and looking his up and down before he pulled away.

"i-" he shifted, he knew he wasn't alright. he just didn't want to tell his mom that john keyes was gonna be the death of him. "i think so, but i wanna make sure..you know?"

jaren's mom nodded, "yes- yeah, i know. better to be safe than sorry." she hummed, looking at jaren and opening the motel door after grabbing her phone. "c'mon."

🌻

jaren's mom stayed in the lobby as the doctor lead jaren back to the room. "so, mister smith, what's been happening?"

jaren bit his lip, playing with his sweater, "i-uh,  i've been coughing up..uhm, lilies? and yesterday when i was at mcdonald's with my..uh..friend, i coughed up lilies and..and a lil bit of blood." he whispered, making sure to not make eye contact with the doctor.

"well, mister smith," she sighed, holding her hand out. "i'm doctor manuel, and if you have what i think you have..we'll have to keep you here for tonight."

jaren bit the inside of his cheek, he wanted to come here, but it was just hitting him. john keyes couldn't possibly love him back in the time that it would take jaren to die.

i'm gonna die here.

"we'll have to get you x-rayed, when hanahaki gets to stage three..flowers tend to become noticeable in the lungs or stomach. do you want me to inform the lady you came in with of what's happening?" doctor manuel questioned, jaren nodding softly and keeping his head down.

as soon as the door shut behind the doctor, jaren closed his eyes. he didn't wanna die, he was scared. he hadn't even made it to graduation, he wanted to do things with his life! 

loving john keyes is the worst mistake i've ever made.

he sat there for a moment, burying his face in his hands, keeping his eyes closed tightly as a tear fell down his cheek. "i don't wanna die," he whimpered, moving his legs up and pressing them against his chest. "i don't wanna die just because of john-fucking-keyes!" he snapped, wiping at his tears. it was no use, they were coming faster than he could wipe them and he didn't think they were stopping anytime soon.

doctor manuel walked back into the room, sighing softly at jaren's sobs and setting a hand on his back awkwardly. she didn't even know the kid, "c'mon, mister smith. we've got to get you x-rayed."

🌻

john furrowed his eyebrows, looking around the lunch table. "aye, lui!" he called, the tiny boy looking up quickly.

"hi, john!" he smiled, sitting next to the blond.

"have you seen jaren?" john questioned, trying to ignore the anxiety that was creeping up on him.

lui furrowed his eyebrows, as if he were thinking before shrugging and shaking his head. "i don't think i have, john. sorry." lui shifted at john's worried look, setting a hand on the blond boy's shoulder, "it's alright, john, i'm sure he's just sick. i mean, c'mon! jaren never misses school."

john sighed, nodding. "yeah, probably just sick." he mumbled, putting his head down. the food he had gotten was disgusting, as usual, but he didn't have anything to distract him today. he huffed, looking up at jon and evan.

jon was glaring at the asian boy, causing john to raise an eyebrow. evan huffed, mumbling something that john couldn't hear before jon got up, storming out of the cafeteria.

"damn, fong," john chuckled, "you got yourself an angry jon."

evan huffed, giving john a glare and getting up to follow jon.

john shrugged, looking around. he was just so bored this lunch, jaren wasn't here, evan had just left, jon had a whole temper tantrum, and darryl hadn't been to school since tyler got diagnosed with cancer.

well, that's what john thought until darryl ran up to the boy. there was a little stubble on darryl's chin, but john was paying attention to the bloodshot eyes adorning darryl's face.

"jaren's in the hospital, i assume something happened, because his mom's in the lobby crying." darryl sighed, he wasn't even supposed to be here. his parents had told him to take the week off and visit tyler in the hospital.

john's face fell as the words ran off darryl's tongue, his mind couldn't seem to process what his ears had heard, because he hadn't moved ever since darryl had presented the news to him.

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