IN MY DREAMS [ krii7y ]

ᥴhᥲρtᥱr tᥕᥱᥣvᥱ

john rushed into the motel room where he had left his backpack, noticing a new paper next to it and stuffing it inside. he hadn't taken the time to read it, but that was alright. it couldn't have been anything important, at least not to john. he felt a sinking feeling in his stomach, he wanted to puke.

he sniffled, he couldn't go to the hospital yet. he couldn't see jaren held up in a hospital bed with nothing but himself for entertainment.

so, he pulled out the discarded paper, furrowing his eyebrows when he saw jaren's handwriting on the note. he read it carefully, letting out a few tears before getting up and rushing out of the motel room, he hadn't even bothered closing the door. he ran to his truck, not minding the speed limit signs as he rushed to the hospital.

john had always hated the lines at hospitals, they were always so depressingly long. it pained him to know that so many people were either checking into the hospital or trying to see a loved one, but that's how it was. and currently, he was the latter. he just wanted the line to move, just once. he wanted to be closer to seeing his milk boy.

everyone stopped when doctors began rushing down the hallway, screaming out, "code blue! code blue!"

john's heart plummeted into his stomach, he remembered being at the hospital when he was around four. his father had just gotten into the accident, and when the doctors began to scream, "code blue!" he thought they were playing a game.

and when he went to yell, "code green!", his mother jumped up. because the doctors were racing towards john's fathers room.

but now, as he watched everyone else in the hospital, jaren's mother jumped up. 

they're going to jaren's room.

🥀

the doctors crowded around jaren's limp body, the heart machine continuing it's long noise. the line was unsettlingly flat on the screen as the doctors tried everything in their power to revive the boy. but nothing was working, his heart had stopped and it didn't look like he was going to come back anytime soon. 

his mother just couldn't forgive herself for not staying in the room, she had been in there a few minutes prior, but had left to give jaren some space.

and doctor manuel, she was a mess. she was sure he had at least two more days for them to try and remove the flowers from his lungs, but she had messed up. calculated wrong, and given jaren false hope.

🥀

john, he had no idea what was going on. he didn't know if they had saved jaren, but the line was thinning. he was getting closer to seeing his milk boy, and he hadn't heard anything from jaren's room. he assumed they'd saved the boy, oh how wrong he was.

he finally got to the desk, smiling softly at the lady. "hi, uhm, what room is jaren smith in?"

the lady hummed, chewing her bubblegum as john read her name tag. 'adrianna'. the clicking of the keyboard stopped as she looked up, "uh, it says he's in room 420, but that's the room who just had the guy flatline." 

john's heart felt like it had shattered into a million pieces as he stared at the brunette receptionist. he couldn't believe his ears, he trudged over to jaren's room, holding the note jaren had left.

he peered into the room, seeing jaren's mother sobbing in the corner as the doctors tried to calm her down and persuade her to leave the room. 

john felt like his world had fallen too far from the sun, as if the room had gotten a million times colder, and he watched everyone move with no sound. his mind wasn't processing what he was seeing, as jaren's mom left the room and they began moving jaren from the bed.

john keyes just could not believe that he had been the cause of jaren smith's death.

~ s o n g ; s i l e n c e -
a r t i s t ; m a r s h m e l l o  f t .  k h a l i d ~