IN MY DREAMS [ krii7y ]

ᥱριᥣogᥙᥱ

john's black suit felt as if it were suffocating him as he followed his mother into the church. he still hadn't quite gotten it through his head that jaren was dead, and truthfully? he didn't want to get it through his head. he didn't want to believe that the boy he loved was dead.

but, jaren smith was, in fact, dead. and john realized that when he saw the boy, eyes closed and arms crossed over his chest, in a casket. 

that's when his knees hit the floor, sobs emitting from his figure as he shook. he couldn't believe it, his milk boy..his petal, jaren smith..he was dead, all because john was just so dense and couldn't love him back.

john's mother bit her lip, ushering for her boyfriend to get john off the floor. john simply shook the man off, wiping at his eyes and getting up. the tears were flowing down his cheeks, seeming as if they had no interest in stopping anytime soon.

"my dad saw me crying last night, john." a seven year old jaren had told john as they walked to the park.

john raised his eyebrows, looking at his best friend. "oh?" he hummed, frowning slightly, "what'd he say?"

"said to cry a river, then build a bridge and get-" jaren stopped, giggling slightly. "he was a bad word, john."

"he said a bad word?" john blinked, "to you?!" 

jaren nodded, looking up at the sky.

"but your mama always tells him not to!"

"i know!" jaren giggled, "w-well, he said to cry a river, then build a bridge and get over it."

the memory bounced around in john's head, just causing more tears to erupt from his eyes. he couldn't believe that he had taken the boy's life. 

🌸

darryl ventured to the hospital, dressed from head to toe in black. he had gone to the funeral with john, he tried to convince the doctor's to let tyler go..but they wouldn't budge. he sighed, waiting in the line to the desk. it had already been such a long day, and it was only noon.

little did darryl know, it was about to get much worse...see, tyler had just gotten a bit of bad news. and that was that he would most likely not survive unless he and his friends gathered enough money..and fast.

so, when darryl walked into tyler's room, only to find the boy crying..his face fell. he rushed over to his boyfriend, trying to engulf him into a hug until tyler flinched away from him. darryl furrowed his eyebrows, shaking his head. "ty, hey, it's me..c'mere, i'll make it better, i promise."

tyler looked up, trying to look as if he wanted to do this. as if he wanted to break darryl's heart, but he just couldn't. he looked so sad, so broken as he opened his mouth and spoke the words that would end up breaking darryl's heart. "you need to get over me, get out. you need to get on with you life-" tyler paused, laughing bitterly and wiping his eyes. "because god knows i'm not about to get out of here."

darryl shook his head, wrapping his arms around tyler. "you- you don't mean that, ty. we're gonna get enough money, i promise. i promise we will."

tyler pushed darryl away from him, huffing, "get over me, darryl! i'm gonna fuckin' die in here and you need to accept that before it happens. john didn't accept that jaren was gonna die, and look where that got him. heartbroken and depressed."