Feeling Small

Chapter 9

**Melody's P.O.V**

So it had been about a week of hospital food and almost sleepless nights. Of course Josh brought me my iPod and sang to me once in awhile but I felt as if my heart had been ripped out every time the thought of losing the baby crossed my mind. I'd still cry everyday, and the urge to cut would always return to haunt me.

Today was the day I finally was let out of the hospital. Josh made me a nice home made meal that night. He knew I was still hurting and wanted to do everything in his power to make me feel better.

Tonight I was spending the night at Josh's because his parents and my parents went out somewhere. They had always been close but as Josh promised, he wanted to keep a close eye on me. Not that I didn't enjoy Josh's company though. That definitely wasn't the case.

"Hey...cheer up." Josh smiled at me.

I couldn't help but bite my lip and stare at the ground. A part of me still felt empty.

He came over and sat down beside me, lifting my chin with his finger.

He gazed into my eyes for a moment before gently kissing me. I felt the pain ease as our lips connected.

I needed this right now, a distraction.

I intensified the kiss and Josh followed where I was going. I snaked my hands under his shirt and gently began to caress his sides, back and stomach.

I pulled back only to gently bite his lip. He moaned in anticipation. I smirked as his lips crashed into mine once again.

"Melody...we don't have to do this..." he panted.

I ignored him and began kissing up his neck. I positioned myself so I was straddling him. "Melody..." he breathed.

"We can't Mel..." he sighed.

"Why not?" I looked at him hurt.

"The only reason you're doing this is because you're still in pain..." he said with sadness in his eyes.

"Josh please...you're the only happiness I have left in this world. I need you." I said.

I wasn't lying.

**Josh's P.O.V**

I could clearly see that she was still hurting. Although, I didn't want to feel guilty.

"Please Josh..." she begged.

I finally gave in and leaned in to kiss her again.

She smiled before getting up and grabbing my hand.

"Let's move somewhere more comfortable." she smiled.

I followed her to my room.

I kissed her with passion before gently picking her up and placing her on my bed.

She began kissing up my neck making me moan.

"Don't tease me Mel." I said as I felt her smile into my neck.

She pulled away and was about to kiss me again when I shifted and starting kissing up her neck. I was sure I'd leave a hickey but fuck it.

She laced her fingers through my hair before moving down to my shirt. She pulled my shirt off and began kissing me again. I did the same to her. Then she nudged at my jeans. I smiled into her lips as she undid my belt and pulled off my jeans.

"Here." she smiled handing me a package.

I took the package and smiled sympathetically at her.

I knew even though we just lost our baby, we still weren't ready for one.