Saved By Steven (finished)

28. Sharing?

After lunch Steven, Joe and Lauren attended the mandatory group family session. Since Lauren didn't have any family she didn't share anything. She just sat on the couch, leaning against Joe and listened to what Joe and Steven were saying. Hearing what they thought and felt when Lauren was drinking made her feel terrible and she started crying in silence. Joe wrapped an arm around her, telling her it was okay.

The therapist was surprised by this outing of emotion. "Lauren. This is the first time you have showed any emotion since you arrived here. What made you cry?"

Lauren didn't feel like talking, but she knew she had to. Steven took her hand and looked her in the eyes. "You can tell us baby. We won't be mad."

"I never meant for you to get hurt." Lauren sobbed. "I love you guys."

"You didn't want to hurt them, but you did by drinking."

"They drank too. It's not as if I am the sole instigator here. Hell, they're the ones that got me hooked on drugs. " Lauren got angry.

"This is good, Lauren. What made you take drugs?"

"It felt good. The nice warm feeling. I didn't feel like I was getting raped over and over, day by day."

Joe and Steven looked at each other. Fuck. They thought. They knew Lauren was raped but they didn't know she felt like that. The room was quiet, everybody looked in shock.

"It made me feel like a normal person. And after the abortion I took the drugs to not feel the, what the fuck do you call it?, baby? Leave my body. I didn't want to feel any of it. I still don't want to feel it. I need to be numb. " Lauren screamed before she left the therapy session.

"Wow." Steven sighed.

"Fucking shit. I didn't know she felt like that." Joe whispered, his hand rubbing his temples.

"What do we do?" Steven asked the doctor.

"This is the first time she ever talked about anything. It's a breakthrough, but her problems are rooted deep inside of her. She doesn't seem to be able to let go of the pain."

"She likes pain." Joe said. The room gasped.

"You can't say that!" Steven raised his voice a bit.

"She does Steven. You may not want to admit it, but you know it. She keeps going back to the same dysfunctional relationships."

"Well, she's done with that now. Now she's with me."

"But she isn't really. She's still living in the past."

The doctor interrupted. "You say she loves the pain. Most patients love the pain because that's what they grew up with. With Lauren the problems are destroying her, but she doesn't let anybody in. We need to figure out what happened in her past."

"How can we do that doc?" Joe asked.

"We need to get her to trust somebody here."

"And how do we do that?"

"Time. It takes a lot of time."

"Isn't there a faster way?"

When Lauren stormed to her room she walked past Richard. He saw she was upset and he walked after her. Lauren grabbed a pack of smokes and tried to lit one. She was so upset that she kept dropping the lighter.

"Here, let me." Richard said, taking the cigarette from Lauren and lighting it.

"Thanks." And Lauren inhaled deep.

"You alright?"

"Fine." She spat at Richard. Who left the room. Lauren obviously didn't want to talk.