Saved By Steven (finished)

29. Trying

The bed felt cold against the warm body of the man on top of her. His breathing was heavy. She heard there were other people in the room. She kept her eyes closed as the men took turns on the bed. The screams were loud. But where did they come from? It took a few moments to realize she was the one screaming.

"Lauren, wake up. Time for group." A nurse said.

When Lauren didn't wake up the nurse left the room to find the doctor.

"Get off me. Stop. You're hurting me." The voice screamed. "Shut up, Bitch." A heavy voice said. The voice was familiar but still she kept her eyes closed and screamed until she couldn't.

"Lauren? Time to wake up." The doctor said.

Lauren moved around in the bed. She was half asleep, half awake. The dream kept pulling her in.

"Shit." The doctor said.

"What?" The nurse asked.

"She's dreaming again. That's why she won't wake up. She thinks she's already awake." The doctor said before he left the room and came back moments later with a cold towel. As soon as the cold towel was put on her forehead Lauren woke up.

"Good morning." The doctor smiled.

"Morning." Lauren whispered.

"You okay?"

"I guess."
"We really got to talk about this sweetheart. These dreams aren't good."

Lauren skipped morning group but joined the group for the mid-morning group. In group they talked about abuse and Lauren really didn't want to be there so she kept smoking one cigarette after the other. The doctor had noticed the anxiety and addressed her.

"Lauren, would you like to share?"

"No." And she blew out some smoke.

"Can I try something with you then?"

"Sure."

"Okay. So, I know why you're here and I know what you are hiding, but the group doesn't. I'm going to tell a story and you just say if I'm on the right path."

"Whatever."

"Okay. Lauren was at a concert a few months ago. She was having a good time and was invited to come backstage. Everything was okay until someone slipped her something in her drink. The next thing she knew was lying on a bed with a man on top of her."

Lauren started crying in silence. She felt horrible just listening to the story, it made her relive the entire thing.

"He forced himself in her, not wearing a condom. He continued to rape her until another man came in. The first men let the second man take his turn. The second man wore a condom and the next one too."

Lauren was sobbing now. She felt the men inside her, the feeling of penetration made her curl up in a ball. She wanted to vomit and made gagging sounds.

"After the men were done a security guard brought her to her car and drove her to the hospital. There she called a friend with whom she stayed for a while. The next thing that happened was that she turned out to be pregnant and she went back on the pills."

"No. I was already on drugs." Lauren said through the tears. "After the rape it was the one thing that kept me sane."

"Okay. You tell the story."

The words came out slowly through a flood of tears, but Lauren tried to tell her story. "After I found out I was pregnant I had an abortion and continued using more and more drugs until I took an overdose and tried to killed myself."